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“She ripped you from my arms!” Her voice echoes through the room and the flames on her head swell to become an oversized crown of gold and red.
The burn in my scars intensifies. It wasn’t a monster who gripped me hard that night, it was my mother refusing to let me go.
“Gran saved me. A baby couldn’t survive here.” I’d have been gobbled up by the first monster to find us. “You wouldn’t have survived if you’d had to look after me.”
She stares at me as though not comprehending. “I had to become queen to find you. But now we can be together again.”
Heat radiates off her as she grows closer. This isn’t the mother I longed for. This is the monster I was always checking under the bed for. The one Gran warned would come for me.
“No.” I will not rule with her. I do not know this person. Did I ever? My memory of her is built on photos and videos and Gran’s stories. The mother that existed in my heart and hopes and dreams was never real.
“Of course you can’t rule like that. Where are your claws? Why are you still like that?”
“Because I choose to be.” And I refuse to be haunted by the belief that she didn’t want me anymore. That is a lie. She wanted me so much she tried to bring me with her and then, when that failed, to drag me here. “You can choose to become human again.”
Behind me, Joe groans.
“More guards are arriving.” Michael growls from the back.
Gerrard’s grip on me tightens.
“You don’t need to live like this.” I plead, hoping that she’ll see the truth and choose to become human.
“Where is your gratitude? I found you,” she snarls.
I nod. She’s right. Before coming to Under I was lost. I was afraid and pathetic. Here, a human among monsters I have found who I am and faced my fears. “You did. Thank you.”
She smiles and extends her burning hand as though expecting me to take it and be consumed in her fire.
“But I do not have to stay. I’m leaving.”
“You can’t. You belong with me.” The walls tremble and small pieces of rock fall from the ceiling.
“Mom, I’m not a child anymore. I can live my own life.”
“I gave up everything for you. I lost the man I loved because of you.” Her hands curl into fists.
“He chose to go back into the fire and rescue me.” He couldn’t have known it would kill him. His actions were out of love. Hers have been made of fear. The same way I had been living. I glance up at Gerrard. “You can let me go. I won’t hurt her.”
His grip tightens to the point of pain, but I don’t think he realizes. “She might hurt you.”
“No she won’t. You won’t hurt me, will you, Mom?” I smile. “I’m glad I got to see you. To see this place. Because now I am free.”
That’s when I feel it.
A change. The skin on my back rips as something pushes out of me. I gasp and Gerrard lets go of me. I fall to my knees, struggling to breathe as I am consumed by the pain.
“Yes…now you change and join me.” The glee in my mother’s voice brings tears to my eyes.
What did I do?
What did I think?
I’m free.
The growths on my back extend and I see the tips of my new wings. I don’t need to climb the spire. I can fly up it.
I stand, my wings fully spread as they dry and finish growing. Joe isn’t wrong about the pain. It’s like my lungs are being turned inside out and my skin is being stretched too far.
