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I merely desire to be free,she thought as she forced a smile and responded, “My Lord, you have already given me enough.”
The duke shook his head and looked for a moment as if he might object. Then he straightened up and suggested, “Please, My Lady, allow me to walk you back to your room. Perhaps then you might rest easier.”
Knowing it would be best just to keep her mouth closed until she could come up with another plan, she allowed the duke to lead her back towards her bedroom with her hand resting in the muscular crook of his elbow.
What the hell is the matter with you, Penelope?she snapped at herself as the steps creaked under her feet once more, and she drew further and further away from the exit.After all that happened with the Comte! Stay away from him. This is most inappropriate.
But even though she was moving further and further from the front door, she couldn’t help feeling the strength in the duke’s arm, and somehow she felt safe.
Chapter 11
Lady Rose was more beautiful than Anthony had ever anticipated, and standing outside her bedroom, facing her, he fought the urge to lean in and kiss her. It was a most painful urge that was almost too powerful to ignore, especially when he thought,we shall be married in a matter of hours!
If he had stuck to the original plan, their wedding would not take place for another few weeks, but Lady Rose's early arrival had made him anxious, and after having seen her, he knew there was no way he could risk losing her. Her early arrival left him feeling flustered and out of control, and he was determined to return to his old self.
Never in his life had he ever been so reckless, so willing to do things on a mere whim, and yet he reminded himself firmly that this was not just about what he wanted; it was about what was best for his sisters. With Lady Rose and her inheritance, as much as he loathed the thought of it, he would be right back at square one.
Remembering how he had felt upon seeing her for the first time, how his heart had hammered in his chest, and his knees had grown weak, he was adamant that he could not let her go.
If she were to have arrived later, it would be the same anyway,he reminded himself. He and the Comte had been corresponding for weeks on the matter, deciding it would be best for a quick ceremony a few days after Lady Rose's arrival in London.All the plans remain the same,he told himself firmly,only the date has changed.
So why was he standing before her now so terrified to remind her that they would be wed in the morning? Perhaps it was because he feared she might change her mind or maybe even that she would try to postpone things. A part of him was even worried that the Comte had neglected to tell his niece of the plans.
Instead, leaving it down to those in England to be sure that she was wed merely so he could get her out from under his feet as so many younger brothers had done before him upon becoming the head of the family after the death of an older sibling.
It didn’t bear thinking about, and the last thing Anthony wanted to do was upset such a beautiful woman. He wondered whether that might be why she had come early and alone; perhaps she was running from her family as much as he was from his inherited debts.
He would not begrudge her for doing so. He could only imagine what it would be like to be a young woman forced to cross the ocean alone and marry an utter stranger.
Sympathy for the young woman, who still looked terrified, caused Anthony to take a step forward. It was only the lady's sharp intake of breath that stopped him from reaching for her.
"I thank you for bringing me back to my room, My Lord," she told him, averting her gaze and dropping into a low curtsey. Anthony wanted to grab hold of her and pull her back to her feet. He wished for her never to curtsey to him again. It felt wrong and unnatural.
"Please, My Lady, as I have said, call me Anthony," he insisted, gesturing for her to rise. "And please, do not feel that you must curtsey to me. Especially in private."
She blushed then as if the reminder that they were alone had also reminded her that they were bending the rules. After all, they were not yet wed. Anthony knew he ought to have called for a maid or even one of his sisters to escort her back to her room, but the thought of anyone but himself sharing her company made him feel horrendous.
They stood there in silence for several moments, both unable to take their eyes off each other until Lady Rose finally dropped her gaze again and began playing with a loose thread on her cloak.
"You're sure you are well, My Lady?" Anthony asked when he could no longer take the anxious clawing sensation in his gut. "You … you aren't having second thoughts about being here, are you?"
He knew he ought not have asked the question, but his curiosity and his anxiety were growing too strong. He felt as though his skin was itching, making him irritable and most uncomfortable, and he knew that she was the cause. There was so much unknown between them.
We shall have our entire lives to get to know each other,Anthony reminded himself, and yet he couldn’t help fearing that perhaps she would not wish to. He was suddenly fearful of the kind of marriage that was only such on paper, two parties living entirely separate lives save for the few occasions that were required for them to acknowledge each other as husband and wife. Anthony had rarely thought of marriage, but when he had, it most certainly hadn't been pictured like that.
"Oh, no!" Lady Rose blurted almost as soon as he had asked the question, and Anthony was surprised when she stepped forward, placing a palm against his chest as though she wished to reassure him. Maybe if she had been someone else, he would have warned her that it was most inappropriate for them to be standing so close together, and yet at that moment, he feared her pulling away.
Instead of making a comment that might scare her away, Anthony slowly and carefully reached up to place his hand over hers on his chest, his gaze never leaving hers. Holding his breath, he half expected her to snatch her hand away.
Relieved when she didn’t, he squeezed her fingertips gently against his chest and smiled down at her, hoping she would feel just how happy he was for her to have touched him. It was such an innocent, gentle touch, and yet somehow, it meant more to him than any touch ever had before.
Elizabeth and Emily had spent weeks trying to convince him that his situation was quite romantic and that he should be excited for a magical time, and yet he had laughed and even cursed them silently for being such fanciful creatures. Yet as he stood, staring into Lady Rose's eyes, he couldn’t help feeling that they might actually have been right.
I will never admit it to either of them,he vowed, though he suspected it wouldn't take much for them to notice the change in him. After all, he had spent the last few weeks moping about the countryside estate, whittling and worrying over meeting this young woman, fretting over the thought that it would be nothing but a disaster and that something might be wrong with her, and yet here he was unable to stop looking at her even when she lowered her gaze from his.
Even though the oil lamps lighting the hallway were beginning to burn low, Anthony could clearly see how beautiful she was. In fact, in the dying light, she was even more beautiful. Somehow, she could shine even when there was barely any light to see her by.
"Lady Rose, I …" he began, but he quickly cut himself off, realising that he would only scare her off if he admitted all the things she had made him feel in the very short time she had been in his home. As he pursed his lips to stop himself from saying something he might regret, she turned her gaze back up to his from where she had been gazing at their entwined fingers.
