Page 21 of Field Rules


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“Yesterday wasn’t much easier. Those classrooms were in terrible shape. But now that we’ve set up a research library in one of them, I’m getting excited. It’s going to be a great resource for the students.” Her voice rose with enthusiasm. “We also got all the computers online, the site forms loaded, and the database program up and running. It’s an awesome setup.” She bubbled with laughter. “Listen to me. I sound like a total geek.”

“You sound excited, which is what students need from a TA, especially when they’re thousands of miles from home. Seems to me like you’re ready for anything.” This was the Olivia he remembered, the woman who wanted to take on the world.

“It’s all going well, except…” She dug a groove into the bench with her fingernail.

“Except what?”

“Right now, this is all setup. Going out in the field is a much bigger challenge. I’ll be out of my element.”

“You know you can ask any of us for help, right? Except maybe TJ, because that might be more advice than you need.”

“Thanks. I’m usually not this anxious about teaching.”

His attitude probably hadn’t helped. He wished he hadn’t questioned her lack of experience when he’d picked her up at the airport. “Sorry if I implied you couldn’t handle it. I was being a jerk. But you know your stuff. I read one of your articles last night.”

Her glowing smile confirmed he’d given her the exact boost she needed. “You did? Which article?”

“The one TJ mentioned—the paper you presented at the AIA meetings about the wine trade in Hellenistic Greece.” He’d been blown away by the depth of her research and the meticulous way she’d supported her thesis. She’d taken her passion and used it to craft a compelling argument. “If that’s the subject of your doctorate, it’s going to kick ass.”

Flushing slightly, she broke his gaze. “Thanks. You didn’t have to read it.”

“I wanted to. But I couldn’t help but wonder…”

“What?” Her voice took on a defensive tone.

Don’t ask. Not when things are going so well. But the words tumbled out before he could stop them. “Why didn’t you go back into the field? You haven’t been on a dig since Clear Lake. Library research is great and all, but wouldn’t you rather uncover the evidence yourself? You used to love getting your hands dirty.”

“You really want to go down this path? After everything that happened?”

Not really. But he wanted to know what had stopped her from following her dream. “Maybe I do. I realize we were stupid and reckless, but no one got hurt. I’m sorry we got kicked off the dig, but in the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t a big deal.”

“It was a huge deal to me.” Her voice trembled. “Maybe you got away with a slap on the wrist, but my dad wasfurious. Did you know he paid for half the course because I couldn’t afford it? When I didn’t get credit for it, how do you think he felt, knowing he’d wasted over a thousand dollars? It’s not like he had that kind of cash lying around. I spent the rest of my summer waiting tables so I could pay him back.”

Guilt washed over him. Though he’d known her family wasn’t as wealthy as his, the subject of money had rarely come up during their conversations. “I’m sorry. But you should have told me you needed money. I could have gotten it from my dad and helped you out.”

She rubbed her hands over her face. “It wasn’t just about the money. It was about me screwing up and letting my parents down.”

“Olivia—” He tried placing his hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off.

“You have no idea what I went through.” She clenched her fists. “For the next two months, my dad barely spoke to me. But I still had to show up for work every day at the restaurant and live with the shame.”

The pain in her voice cut into him. She’d suffered for months because of what they’d done, and he’d been oblivious the whole time. “Why didn’t you tell me? I tried to reach you. I tried for weeks.”

“Because you wouldn’t have understood. You didn’t care about the consequences. Why should you? I heard your dad when he came to pick you up. He just laughed and said, ‘Boys will be boys.’ My dad’s not like that. His parents came from Mexico with nothing. If he wanted to succeed, he had to make it happen. He taught me the value of hard work and responsibility, and he always thought he could count on me. It was a long time before he trusted me again.”

“I wish you would have told me.” If nothing else, he could have offered sympathy. Even if he couldn’t relate, he could have listened to her.

He braced himself for another tirade, but her shoulders slumped in defeat. Like the very act of unburdening herself had taken too much out of her.

She let out a ragged breath. “Maybe I should have, but I wanted to put it all behind me. That’s why I never attempted another adventure. I was too afraid I’d mess up again. When my adviser asked me if I wanted this job, I almost didn’t say yes.”

He tried to lighten things up with a smile. “And then you found out you’d be working with me? Hardly the ideal scenario.”

She met his eyes but wouldn’t return his smile. “It’s not your fault. But I can’t screw up when so much is riding on this job. Unlike last time, I can’t afford another huge mistake.” She got to her feet. “I should go. Good night, Rick.”

He watched her walk away, too numb to respond.

After everything she’d told him, he shouldn’t have been surprised she considered their fling a mistake, but the words still stung.

Had she forgotten about the passion they’d shared? Or the long conversations where they’d bared their souls? Up until they’d gotten caught, it had been one of the best summers of his life.

But she didn’t feel the same way. To her, it was just a big mistake.

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