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“It is up to me,” Dad said, irate, and Griff shrank away like a scared dog.
“It’s illegal for me to be here!” I said.
Dad laughed. “Illegal? There’s no laws can touch this place, Jess. This is nobody’s country but the wild’s and mine.”
“I’ll hate you,” I said. “I’ll hate you if you make me stay here. I’ll never, ever forgive you, and I’ll never, ever be the... the... the whatever you want me to be. I like movies and shopping and wasting time on the Internet and buying my food at the grocery store. Not this!” I waved a hand at the lake.
“Griff, can you give us a minute?” Dad said.
“Mhmm,” Griff said. He ambled down the lake until he was out of earshot, or at least far enough away that we could pretend that he was.
“You have to stop saying you’re not staying,” Dad said. He crossed his arms, but he didn’t look angry. Just like he was stating facts. “You are. That’s all there is to it.”
There were tears in my eyes, and I hated myself for it. “You can’t keep me out here.”
“Think of it like a vacation,” Dad said.
I snorted. “A vacation where I’m cold and I have to eat nothing but rice and greasy meat and there’s no one to talk to and nothing to do?”
“There’s plenty to do. More to do than the two of us could get done in twice the time we have.”
“You’re making me into a prisoner,” I said.
“You’re a child. You do what your parents say.” He was losing his temper now. His voice rose up, edging toward a shout.
“Mom never would have made me live out here!” I yelled. “She didn’t even let you see me! She wanted me to live with Scott, not with you!” I didn’t know if that was true, but I yelled it anyway.
“And who the hell is Scott?” Dad yelled back. He’d dropped his arms now.
I glared at him, my right hand in a fist and my left tight around the bow. “Scott’s the guy who was really my dad,” I said. I hadn’t meant to say it. I wasn’t even sure if it was true, or just what I wished had been true.
“What the hell does that mean?” The words came between his teeth. He’d tensed his jaw so much it bulged. I didn’t back down.
“It means he was there. He made me waffles. And talked to me about school. And drove me to friends’ houses. And went to parent-teacher conferences. And didn’t kidnap me and make me live in the freaking wilderness!”
“How long?” Dad demanded.
I blinked at him. How long what? How long Scott. “Mom met him when I was eleven,” I said evenly, making sure he heard every damn word. “He was going to ask her to marry him, and he was going to adopt me. And then I never would have had to come to the middle of nowhere with you.” Except they’d broken up. Three months before the accident. Not forever, I’d thought, they still loved each other. But then Mom died and forever was the only thing left. I didn’t tell Dad that. I wanted him to be angry. Wanted him to hurt. Like I did.
“Christ,” Dad said.
I grinned savagely at him. “Really, Dad?”
Dad took a deep breath and turned toward the lake. He was breathing weirdly, through his nose in sharp draws, and there was a tendon sticking out on his neck. I remember once when I was angry and my mom looked at me and said, real quiet, Your dad had a temper, too. Was he going to hurt me? I wished Bo was there. I didn’t think Bo would let him hurt me.
But when Dad spoke again, his voice was quiet.
“What if it wasn’t forever,” Dad said.
I stared at him.
“What if it was just through the winter? Just one year. You’ll be a bit behind in school, okay. But think about how amazing your college essays will be.” He smiled a little, looking at a point in between him and me but not quite at my face. “In the summer we’ll head back to the States, and I’ll face the music for keeping you out of school. I’ll get a regular job, at least until you’re eighteen and you’re in school and everything.”
“Why can’t we go now?” I asked.
“There’s things I’ve got to do here,” he said. “Things I’ve got to wait for. I’ve made some promises.”
“To who? The moose?” I asked. “To those friends of yours who don’t make good choices?”
