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I wait for him to keep talking. I didn’t consider that my name in the paper would reach Jean-Pierre, too. But it shouldn’t matter. It’s been almost a year since we broke up, and by then, I was already emotionally detached. Breaking up was a matter of technicality. He physically left, but I was relieved to see him go.
“Mon amour, I miss you,” Jean-Pierre says. “I’ve tried moving on, but life without you just isn’t what it used to be. You’ve changed me, ruined me for other women.”
“Don’t do this, Jean-Pierre,” I say and squeeze my eyes shut. “We’re over. We broke up for a reason. You left, remember?”
“I was wrong,” he says. “I see that now. Sometimes, it takes losing something to know what you had.”
“That’s just it,” I say. “You should have known what you had while we were together. I’m not doing this. It’s not fair on me, and it’s not fair to Ava, either.”
“I miss her, too,” Jean-Pierre says, but it’s almost an afterthought because I mentioned her. I doubt he thought about her when he decided he wanted me back.
When Jean-Pierre left, it was hard on Ava. He’s the only father figure she really knew. It took a while for her to get to accepting he wasn’t in our lives anymore. I’m not putting her through that again because I know it won’t last with Jean-Pierre.
Even if I did want him back.
But that ship has sailed. I’m on a different page now.
Noah crosses my mind, but we’re not together. And we can’t be—not long term. It’s not because of him I’m telling Jean-Pierre no.
“You’re not being reasonable,” Jean-Pierre says. He’s getting angry. He always puts the blame on me when he doesn’t get what he wants. It’s a red flag I should have noticed when we first got together. “You’re not thinking clearly.”
“I’m thinking perfectly clearly, thank you,” I say. “And I don’t want to try again. We made great memories, but our season ended, Jean-Pierre.”
“Ah, but that’s the beauty of a season…it comes again!”
I groan and roll my eyes at how ridiculous he’s being.
“I’m serious. Okay?”
“Why are you so closed off to happiness?” he demands to know. “You sabotage yourself, you know. You cut yourself off from everything that brings you joy. How can you choose to be miserable? Think about what it does to Ava. She needs a role model in her life, a father to turn to.”
He might have had me when he talked about self-sabotaging because I know I have a tendency to do that. I don’t believe in myself enough so I don’t take the leap when it can bring great things. But the moment he brings Ava into this, that door shuts again.
“I know what she needs, and I’m doing my best to give it to her.” Not being able to give her a whole family has always been a sore point. Jean-Pierre knows it.
“Let me be there for you. Let me show you what we can do as a team.”
“We were never a team. We were the extras in the Jean-Pierre show.”
“You’re being mean.”
“You’re not listening to me. It’s over and that won’t change.”
He’s furious. The silence stretches out thin between us, and I know he’s trying to choose his words, trying to control his temper. If he explodes now, he’ll lose his chance. He wants to get me back before his temper rears its ugly head again.
“You don’t know what you’re saying,” Jean-Pierre says. “But don’t worry,ma belle Cherie.I’ll show you.”
He hangs up, and my stomach turns. Show me? How will he do that?
He can’t reach me—I’m on the other side of the world. It’s a small consolation. Until I think about Ava and Maria.
What if he contacts them? What if he arrives at their doorstep and shatters Ava’s world again? It took me a long time to rebuild what we lost because of Jean-Pierre.
My stomach clenches in a tight fist of nerves, and I feel sick. I dial Maria’s number and will her to answer. It’s only ten in the evening there. She should still be awake; she should answer her phone.
“Pick up, pick up,” I mutter.
“Raven?” Maria’s voice sounds sleepy.
