AllFreeNovel
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It’s only the two of us in this house, and sometimes, we are so different from each other, we are the best of friends. But sometimes, we are so alike, we butt heads. And she’s not even a teenager yet—I think things might get complicated at some point.
But we’re not there yet.
When her room is neat and everything is packed away, the cookies are cool enough to eat and we load plates and pour glasses of milk. We sit in the breakfast nook together, dunking our cookies before we eat.
“I think I’d like a dad,” Kylie says.
I blink at her. “Really?”
“Yeah, it looks like it can be fun. Jenna loves her dad and he takes her out for picnics or to the park sometimes. And you should have a boyfriend again, too.”
“Kylie!” I cry out and laugh.
“What? Isn’t that what girls do?”
“Sometimes,” I say and giggle, feeling weird to talk about these things with my daughter.
“There is a boy in my class I like. His name is Ethan. I think I’d like him to be my boyfriend if he likes me back. Do you think I should ask him if he likes me?”
“You could,” I agree. “But you always take the chance. How will you feel if he says he doesn’t like you?”
“I guess I’ll be sad…but there is another boy, Richie. I guess I could ask him if Ethan doesn’t like me.”
I laugh. Things are so easy when we are young. And they get so complicated as we grow up. I should take a page from Kylie’s book and go back to basics. I don’t know how I feel about having a man in this house with Kylie and me again, but she isn’t getting the examples she needs from me—she has no idea what a relationship means because she’s never really seen one.
I don’t know how to fix that and make a mental note to ask Dianne next time I speak to her.
When I had Kylie, I was glad she was a girl. I felt like I could understand her, and when it comes down to things like periods and boys and make-up, I can handle it. But that was before I lost David and felt like I lost a part of myself. I have to go back to the person I was before. For Kylie’s sake, and for mine.
It’s just always so much easier said than done. The idea of dating again might be one I can wrap my mind around. But actually doing it is a completely different story.
My phone rings and I tell Kylie I’ll be right back. I don’t recognize the number and frown.
“Hello?”
“Natalie.” The voice is so familiar, my heart skips a beat. But it’s not David on the other end of the line. It’s Samuel, his brother.
“Sam,” I say, flustered. I haven’t heard from him in five years. The last time I saw him was at the funeral. “Hi.” I don’t know what else to say.
“It’s been a long time.”
I swallow hard. “It has.”
“Do you have a moment to talk?”
I cover the phone with my hand and look at Kylie. “Sweetheart, you can put on a show for yourself. This is going to take a moment. I’ll join you when I’m done.”
Kylie puts her plate in the sink and skips to the living room to switch on the television.
When she’s out of earshot, I put the phone against my ear again. “What do you want?”
The words come out a little snappier than I mean for them to, but Sam caught me off guard. I can’t imagine what he needs from me.
“I’m sorry it’s been so long,” he says. “I should have called you sooner. I should have stayed in contact. But it’s been…hard.”
I can’t fault Sam for that. I haven’t reached out to him since the funeral, either. We carried on with our lives, individually, as if the other party never existed. Kylie sees her grandparents but Sam lives his own life.
“I know,” I say softly.
