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But now, after everything, I’m losing my career. My dreams shattered in front of me. It’s not a direct result of being in a relationship, but it’s still because of it.
I should have stuck to my resolve; I should have kept my word to myself that I wouldn’t date for a while. I thought I could do things differently, but it turns out that being with someone still stops me from reaching my dreams.
Even if it’s in a different way than I expected.
I drive around the city for a long time before I muster up the courage to go back home. I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to have to deal with my thoughts and emotions. But I have nothing else to do—I don’t have a new client to work with, and going to the office at Ruby Blue, with the women who are all fast-lane and positive, just won’t cut it right now.
I’m barely home when someone knocks on my door. My heart beats faster—I sincerely hope it’s Blake. But it will be too good to be true if it’s him. And when I opened the door, my heart sinks.
Michelle stands in front of me. She is the manager at the Ruby Blue New York office, and she’s always been a good friend. More than she’s been a boss. Michelle is the type of person who is always there for everyone, and I can use someone to be there for me now.
I melt a little bit when I see her and struggle to keep my emotions together.
“Are you okay?” Michelle asks, concerned.
“I’ve been better,” I admit.
Michelle nods slowly. “I heard things have gone wrong.”
I frowned. “What do you mean? Where did you hear that?”
“Word travels,” Michelle says with a shrug. “Raven has a contact with someone who has a contact with Blake Ford—it’s how she got you the client. She heard about the drama, and your name came up.”
My stomach drops and I feel sick. “How did my name come up?
Michelle doesn’t say anything for a moment
“It’s about my relationship with him, isn’t it?” I say, filling the silence. I look down at my feet, feeling like a child caught red-handed.
“I don’t need to tell you how unprofessional it is,” Michelle says softly. She’s not here to scold me, but she needs me to understand I fucked up. And she’s right to do it—she’s my boss, first and foremost. Hell, we were working on opening a new branch for Ruby Blue in Europe. We can’t afford any stupid mistakes. And what I did classifies as a stupid, stupid mistake.
“It wasn’t supposed to go like this,” I say.
“I know,” Michelle says sympathetically. “We never plan for these things to go wrong, do we? But sometimes, they do. Which is why there are rules in place like not dating clients.”
I clenched my jaw. “What now?”
“You’re not going to be able to work with Ruby Blue anymore,” Michelle says, almost in a whisper. “I fought Raven on this; I want you to know that. I wanted to figure something out so that we could all be happy. But the company is important to her. And I get where she’s coming from. I’m so sorry, I wish—”
“Don’t,” I cut her off before she can finish her apology. “You have nothing to be sorry about. This is my fault and all take full responsibility for it.”
“I argued with Raven about a reference, so we’ll give you that.”
“That’s generous,” I say dully.
“You’re a good worker, Rachel. And you have so much potential. We just can’t work together anymore. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t want to see you succeed.”
I want to cry but I bite back my tears. I swallow hard to try to get rid of the lump in my throat. Michelle is being really nice to me. But that doesn’t change the fact that everything is falling apart, and what I thought was the rest of my life is being ripped away.
“Just because we are not working together anymore doesn’t mean we can’t be friends,” Michelle says and takes my hand, squeezing it. “Call me anytime, okay?”
I nod. I don’t know if I’ll be able to call her and cry on her shoulder. Not after what happened—I feel embarrassed beyond words. But Michelle is an amazing person and I appreciate the gesture.
Without saying anything else, Michelle leaves my apartment, and I am left behind in the wake of my own destruction. How could things have gotten out of control so far? It feels like just the other day I was late for my first consultation with Blake. And now, everything is warped.
I shut the door and turn into my apartment, trying to figure out what I’m going to do. How can I create a business if all my resources are cut off and I have a bad reputation? How can I move forward when all I have left is the chaos I created?
I walk to my bedroom and climb in bed, even though it’s the middle of the day. I want to hide under the covers, to pretend like none of this ever happened. And for now, that’s what I’ll do.
