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My career, my future in fashion, is all I have left. I’m going to give it everything I’ve got.
When I climb into the car after another week, I have an address for someone who is interested in my services. It’s not for a full wardrobe remake, but it’s better than nothing. All I need is my foot in the door. If I can get one person to sing my praises to another and another client to sign up that way, then eventually, my company will grow into what I envision it to be.
I’m relieved I have work again, too. Not having anything to do left me too much time to think about Blake, and that only hurts.
When I stop in front of the quaint colonial house in the suburbs, I get out and walk to the front door. The woman who opens is older, more distinguished, and she smiles brightly at me.
“I’m so excited you’re here! I feel like this is a turning point in my life. A midlife crisis, if you will.”
“I’m excited to show you what I have in mind,” I counter and dip into the house when invited in.
Estelle fusses with coffee for us so that we can sip something warm while I show her my designs. When we are finally in the living room, I flip through a couple of concepts I came up with. Estelle only wants a few outfits for a week of celebration. She’s been married to her husband for fifteen years and they’re going all out.
“Oh, I like this!” she says, pointing at my tablets when I settle on one of my designs. “Do you think we can use this one and expand on it?”
“Absolutely,” I say. “Look at these.” I hand her the tablet so she can flip through my designs, and I watch her features as she takes it all in.
Helping her create a new outfit for a celebration like a wedding anniversary should be exciting and heartwarming. This is a positive thing. And it’s a new client who might help me get off the ground. But this meeting is bittersweet.
It only makes me think of Blake. I keep flashing on his face, on the way he looked at me that first day when we met.
Everything changed for me then. Made me feel like I was special. He made me feel like that every step of the way.
And at the same time, he rubbed me the wrong way, getting me so irritated and frustrated that I could scream.
I miss him.
“What do you think?” Estelle asks, and I realize she’s talking to me.
“I’m sorry, say that again,” I say. “Let me understand clearly so that I don’t miss something.” I waffle the extra bit so that she doesn’t think I wasn’t listening at all.
Estelle explains herself again and I take careful note, nodding and agreeing until we settle on something for me to work with. When the consultation is over, I leave the house with a follow-up date, and the promise of money coming in.
When I get in my car, I smile to myself and turn into the road. This is something that should be celebrated.
I want to call Blake. I wanted to tell him about my success. Immediately, that affects me. My good mood fades away and it’s replaced by sadness.
I want to celebrate the victory, but how can I celebrate it when I don’t have someone to share my success with? Sure, I can go to Samantha, and she’ll be happy for me. But since the article leaked and it came to light that it was Alex, my relationship with Sam is a little strained. It won’t stay that way— she didn’t do anything wrong. But it will take a bit of time, and I don’t feel like calling her right away and gushing about my new clients.
I have to keep my excitement to myself, and I hate it.
When I drive home, Michelle waits in front of my apartment building. When she sees me, she gets out and hugs me.
“How are you doing?” she asks.
Without warning—even from myself—I burst into tears.
“Oh, honey,” Michelle says, concerned. “I wanted to check in on you after you were cut off from Ruby Blue. I didn’t think it would be this bad.”
“It’s not,” I cried and sniveled.
Michelle shook her head. “Can I be rude and invite myself in for a hot cup of sweet tea? I think we could both use it.”
I nod, and Michelle follows me into the building. I put the kettle on the burner, and prepare two cups for us to brew tea in.
“Are you struggling to get your business off the ground?” Michelle asks. “I know things have been tough. I could see if I can—”
“The business is doing okay,” I say. “The last thing I want is for you to get into trouble when you’re helping me after what Raven said. I brought that on myself.”
