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“Look, this is all I have, okay?” he says. “I’ve sacrificed everything for this stupid job, even the girl I loved once upon a time. I had to do something to make it worth my while.”
I sigh. “I’m sorry.” I remember something about this girl he was in love with. It was a couple of years ago, and everyone said they were made for each other. But she hasn’t been around in a long time. He never wants to talk about what exactly happened.
“Sometimes, it isn’t worth it,” I add.
“Yeah,” Alex says. “If I could take it back, I would, Rachel. You have to believe me. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t get how serious it all was. Not until now.”
I nod. I’m still upset. I’m still hurt. But in time, I will forgive Alex. He’s my best friend’s brother. He’s like a brother to me, too. And I won’t stay mad at him forever.
But right now, I’m still smarting.
It will take time.
Samantha arrives.
“I saw your car outside,” she says, walking to the couch. “Is everything okay?”
Alex disappears when I shake my head.
“I miss you,” I say.
“I miss you, too.”
It’s been awkward between us for a while, but I need my friend, and it’s not her fault.
“I got a new client today. It’s the fourth this week.”
“Oh, my God!” Samantha cries out. “Rachel, that’s incredible!”
I nod. “It’s pretty good. The one I talked to today came to me because I dressed Blake.”
Sam’s face softens and the look in her eyes suggests she knows exactly how that makes me feel. My eyes sting, but I refuse to keep crying about this. I can’t fall apart every time his name comes up.
“At least there’s some good that comes of it,” Sam says.
“I know. And I feel so bad because I feel like I ruined his career, but nothing happened to mine. It feels unfair.”
“Don’t you dare do that to yourself,” Sam says. “None of this is your fault, and you deserve to be happy and successful. You always work so hard, and you deserve a big break.”
I nod. I want to believe it. And I’m so pleased things are going well with the business. But I don’t know how to keep celebrating my wins when I want to share them with Blake and I can’t. I got everything I thought I wanted. I just didn’t know my heart would find something else it wants, too.
“You should speak to him,” Sam says.
“What?”
“Tell him you’re sorry. If you’re this serious about him, it’s worth a shot.”
I shake my head. “I can’t. I’m responsible for—”
“Will you stop saying that? I know my idiot brother is the one who screwed it all up. You didn’t do anything. And you’re in love with the guy. It’s worth it if it means you can be together.”
I sigh. “You’re not the first person to say that to me.”
“Well, that should confirm it, then,” Samantha says.
I nod. I just don’t know how to do this. How do I tell Blake that I’m sorry for ruining his life? I wish I could go back in time and change things.
“I’m glad you came to me,” Samantha adds, squeezing my hand. “I thought our friendship would be over.”
