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“No, after she left, the room was something to remember her by. I didn’t want to erase that.” The room was girlish and innocent, completely at odds with her mother’s reputation. In some ways, it helped Isabel remember that Charlene Bennett was more than the rumors and scandals she had left behind.
“You’re very forgiving,” he said as he drew lazy circles against her lips with his thumb. “Most kids would have been angry and hurt if their mother suddenly left. They wouldn’t keep anything to remember her by.”
Isabel realized he was talking from personal experience. “It took me a long time to forgive,” she admitted. “But it wasn’t a surprise when she decided to leave that day. Even at twelve, I could tell she felt stuck.”
And lately, she’d felt a kinship with her mother. That scared her. It was the one thing she had fought against for years, the biggest fear that her father had. While she wouldn’t make the same choices as her mother, Isabel also didn’t want to cause anyone pain because of her transformation.
Isabel tried to shake off the feeling and dismiss the ideas in her head. She didn’t want to think about that. “What did your room look like when you were growing up?” she asked him determinedly. “I imagine something dark with posters all over the wall.”
His hand skimmed down to her throat. “No, I didn’t have a room of my own. Or a bed,” he added with a frown.
“Why?” she asked.
“My mother always shipped me off to a relative when she decided she couldn’t take care of me,” he explained as he watched his hand drift down her chest. “They never had room for me so I usually slept on the couch or the floor.”
She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t think he wanted her to say anything. Sean didn’t look at her as he stroked her breast.
“My relatives would take care of me for a little while but I was always acting out,” he said with a sigh. “Always getting into trouble around town. When one relative decided she’d had enough, she’d send me back to my mother. And she would dump me onto another relative. Eventually she ran out of people who would take me.”
He dropped his hand and splayed his fingers against her stomach. His touch felt possessive. Protective. “You’re very fortunate that you have a family and a town that wants what they think is best for you.”
“I know,” she whispered. She was grateful for what she had and at times felt guilty for rocking the boat. Life was good, so why didn’t she do what was expected of her? But the life she had didn’t quite fit the woman she was becoming. She couldn’t go back to the woman she used to be, even if she tried.
“I’m not the woman that Seedling wants me to be,” she confessed. “I can’t fit into the role they’ve assigned me.”
“Sure you can,” Sean insisted as he caressed her stomach. “You’re just going through a late rebellion stage.”
Isabel swallowed back her disappointment. That wasn’t what she wanted to hear from Sean. “What are you talking about?”
“Most people have this stage during their teen years. Did you get into any trouble with the law when you were a kid?”
“Of course not!” Isabel said. “I’ve never had so much as a parking ticket.”
“What about when you went to college?”
“I lived at home and worked part-time at the library.” She had been fine with that choice. She didn’t believe she’d missed out on anything. “I didn’t do a lot on campus.”
“Name the craziest thing you’ve done.”
Fall in love with you. Her heart lurched and she bit her lip. She’d been guarding that information for a while but she knew better than to reveal it now. “Well,” she said hoarsely, “it’s kind of difficult to find trouble in Seedling when the gossip travels faster than the car taking you home.”
“Just as I suspected,” Sean murmured as he watched his hand stroke her stomach. “You are finally rebelling.”
Isabel shook her head. “That’s not it.”
“Take my word for it.” His hand grazed her hip. “I’m an expert on rebellions. Mine lasted for years.”
“So you’re saying that what I’m going through is a phase?” she asked with disbelief. Why did he believe her transformation wouldn’t last? Didn’t he see that she was permanently discarding the old Isabel and emerging into the person she was meant to be?
Sean’s hand paused and he looked directly into her eyes. “It’s not to be taken lightly. You could make a choice in this haze that could have lifelong repercussions. I was on the path to destruction before one of my teachers stepped in.”
