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And drop to my knees.
“Vaughn?” All the impatience leaks out of her voice. She says my name like a breathless question. I can’t help but smile.
“Yes?” I wrap my hands around her hips and lean forward to kiss her through the dress. Her body heat surrounds me. I inhale so deeply I taste her in the back of my throat when I swallow.
Ten fingers sink into my hair and hold fast. “Wh-what are you doing?”
“Showing you how much I want you, so there’s no room for doubt in your mind.” I scrunch her dress up and kiss her again through silky white panties. Her eyes go huge, and then the lids drift down.
“Oh, God.”
I lean in for another kiss. Her fingers tighten in my hair and her hips shift away, but the wall brings her up short. And I’m not easily discouraged. I put my mouth against her. “Tell me this is okay.”
“It’s oh…kayyy.” The word trails off as I angle my head so my lips brush her clit. I slide my tongue lower, over her slick, wet panties. She gasps, and her hips jerk so fast I almost lose my grip on her, but then she comes surging back for more. I give her more, and more still. I’m just as desperate for this as she is. I’m delving everywhere now. Over the panties, under the panties—hard, fast, soft, slow—switching it up to drive her out of her mind. Her head’s rolling back and forth against the wall, she’s chanting my name and pulling my hair like she intends to rip it out in handfuls, and I can’t get enough of the pain because it means she’s beyond manners, or reserve, or her impressive self-control. Making Kendall go wild is my new goal. I want it to go on and on, but the way she’s calling my name in ragged little pants tells me she’s not going to hold out much longer.
“Believe me?” I ask and rim her with my finger.
“Yes,” she says breathlessly.
I put my tongue to good use on the throbbing little spot that makes her moan and circle her opening faster. I want to be inside her when she comes. Just a couple fingers, so I can feel every flutter. Every spasm. I want her body hugging me with grateful abandon as I send her over. I push two fingers in deep…and she sucks in a hard breath. Not the good kind. The holy shit, that hurts! kind.
I immediately withdraw. “Are you okay?”
She scoots away from the wall and quickly readjusts her clothing.
“Hey,” I say, and stand slowly so as not to freak her out. “Talk to me. I’m sorry if—” The rest of my sentence gets caught in the back of my throat because her eyes are brimming with tears. I’m confused and concerned until it dawns on me. She was so tight. Like maybe…fuck.
“Are you a virgin?”
“It doesn’t matter. I just…I can’t do this. I made a mistake.”
“You don’t need to be embarrassed. You just took me by surprise.” Dammit. “Look, I can take it slower. Much slower—”
“No.” The word comes out fast and a little hysterical. “It’s not you. It’s me. Shit. I can’t believe I said that again.”
But she’s not laughing at herself this time. She’s not laughing at anything. She’s on the verge of crying. “I’m not the person you think I am. You think I’m good and…innocent. I’m not. Not in the ways that really matter. I’ve done things I can’t undo, and trying to pretend I’m free doesn’t change anything. I’m not free. I don’t know if I’ll ever be free.”
Her words come in a torrent—painful and ragged like they’re tearing her to pieces. “What are you talking about?” I keep my voice as calm and low as I can manage.
She wraps her arms around herself as if she’s freezing on this eighty-degree night. “It doesn’t matter. I have to go. Sorry I ruined your party.”
“You didn’t ruin anything. I’m sorry if I—”
“Stop. Please.” She shakes her head. “Leave it alone, Vaughn. For both our sakes, just leave me alone.” She turns on her heel and takes off.
“Kendall?”
She doesn’t so much as pause. I want to chase after her, but I don’t, because I can’t bear to be the cause of the look in her eyes.
I don’t understand what just happened. I don’t know what I did wrong or how things went sideways so quickly. I know only one thing. Whatever she was trying to tell me matters. It matters a lot.
