AllFreeNovel
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“I’ll walk with you,” I say, and gesture her to go ahead. We’re silent while she leads us down a narrow hall, past some workrooms, and into a small, utilitarian office. I shut the door behind me and watch her retreat to the other side of the desk.
“Sorry I was late,” I say softly, and walk around the desk to ease into the space beside her.
“I told you it’s fine.” She retrieves her purse from a lower drawer and straightens. “No explanations necessary. I mean, we’re friends enjoying a casual summer thing, right?”
Those stiff words put my back up all over again. Right or wrong, my girl, floats through my head again. “Casual? What part feels casual to you?” I lean in so our faces are only inches apart. “When you gave me your virginity? When we had breakfast this morning after spending the night in my bed?” The office is private, but even so, I speak low so my words go directly into her ear. “When you had my dick in your mouth?”
She pushes me back. “We didn’t have any rules or make any commitments. You’re free to do what you want, and I’m free to—”
“Hold on,” I interrupt, because my go-with-the-flow default setting is about to blow, even though I know it’s not fair. She was a virgin. This world is new to her. Of course she wants to travel in it. Experience more. It’s not her fault the idea makes me want to punch a hole through this wall. My winning streak is about to come to a crashing end, but I’m not letting go without a fight. “Maybe we didn’t spell out the parameters of ‘us,’ but when did we decide this is casual?”
“You decided.” She corrects. “About the time you went on a date with Becca.”
I’m clueless. “What are you talking about?”
She pulls her phone out of her purse, taps a button, and points the screen at my face. I have to ease her hand back six inches before I can focus on a photo of Becca and me leaning across a table at The Peninsula.
Shit. We’re right there in color-coordinated glory on Becca’s Instagram feed, along with the caption “Missing my boo.”
“That picture was snapped over a week ago, and it wasn’t a date.” There’s nothing to do here but be honest, even if it puts my dysfunctional relationship with my father front and center. I want to level with her. “My dad set it up ambush-style on the last day of filming Laney’s music video to feed the gossip sites something juicy. I didn’t know she was going to be there. We shared a toast over her landing a movie role, and she tried to talk me into being a publicity couple. I said no. The end.”
She lowers her hand and looks away. A muscle quivers in her throat. “It doesn’t matter…”
I cup her jaw. “It matters to me. I don’t feel casual. I don’t want casual. I want you. I don’t care if this is just for the summer. I don’t care if you’re eventually going to law school to get on with your life. For the duration, I’m yours.” I inhale deeply and add, “And you’re mine.”
Her breath hitches, and I wonder if I’m about to be kicked in the balls for coming off like a domineering asshole.
“This was before last weekend?” Before we had sex, her eyes say.
“Yes.” I wrap my fingers around her wrist. “Yes, but it wasn’t before I started to realize I was—” Caution urges me to take stock of my words, but I don’t want to. I want to let them out. She deserves to have them no matter what she chooses to do with them. “Kendall, it wasn’t before I realized I was into you. And if it counts for anything, I’ve told my father he can’t just—”
“Me, too.”
The two words cut through my sloppy arguments. “What?”
“Me, too,” she repeats, and closes her hand around mine. “I’m into you, too. I feel like this thing between us is…I don’t know…special.”
“It is,” I interject, but she shakes her head to silence me.
“But I’m not adept at reading the signals. Maybe you spend the weekend with all your dates? Maybe snuggling under the covers and sharing showers and cooking breakfast only feels special to me because I’ve never done it before?”
“It feels special to me, too. Believe me, Kendall. I might be a lot of things, but I’m not a liar. I haven’t done this before, either. When it comes to this”—I point to her and then to me—“we’re both virgins.”
She spears her fingers into my hair and pulls my face close. “I believe you,” she says before she presses her lips to mine.
Relief courses through me. I dive into the kiss. I don’t know where we’ve landed, exactly, but it’s somewhere beyond the reach of manipulated photo ops and unspoken emotions. Wherever we are, it feels vital.
