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PAIGE
My skin crawled as the guards led me back to the room I shared with Blaze. The events of the night were on constant loop inside my head, everything on display for everyone to see. Gripping my robe tightly around my body, I tried to assure myself I’d get through this. I did what I had to do to survive. When I closed my eyes all I could see were the faces of the men who’d jerked off while I was strapped to the table. I heard their moans as they reached their release and smeared it over me as if they were laying claim.
When I’d entered the room the first thing I did was run to the waste bin, everything inside me came up. Angry tears ran down my face as I stepped into the bathroom. Making sure the door was locked, I’d trusted Blaze before and that had landed me here. I felt dirty and ashamed. I had no doubt that Damon and some of the others were privy to the deprivation I’d experienced tonight.
I rushed to the toilet again, the mere thought that Damon had witnessed tonight's events had the bile rising again. After I finished I walked over to the basin, my hands gripped both sides as I stared at myself in the mirror. Slowly I let the robe fall to the floor, my body was covered in red welts where I’d been grabbed, pinched, slapped and bitten. I could still feel the cum as it ran down my legs after I’d been violated, Blaze didn’t even make a move to stop Eric when he used my ass as his personal glory hole.
Making my way to the shower, I turned the hot water all the way up. I wanted to scrub all existence of this night off me. I didn’t care if it took layers of skin away in the process. At this point anything would feel better. Nothing I did worked, every time an image of the night came through the numbing haze, I’d scrub harder only to start again when another floated through. Even my usual coping mechanism wasn’t working.
A gut wrenching scream escaped me as I finally broke, and slid down the tiled wall into a heap. The tears flowed uncontrollably. I cried for what I’d experienced both tonight and in the past, I cried knowing that things would never be the same again and lastly I cried over the uncertainty that was now eating me from the inside. Damon would never look at me the same way again if ever. I just sat there and wallowed letting my emotions pull me under. Self pity and loathing engulfed me. I didn’t even move once the water ran cold, I just didn’t care anymore.
I had no idea how long I sat there, but I was pulled out of my pity party when the door was kicked off its hinges. My head shot up as I pushed back against the cool tiles behind me. In front of me, Blaze stood heaving heavily in the doorway. Neither of us said a word, numbness still had its steely hold over me. I watched as he took in the sight in front of him. His eyes widened as he landed on me.
Slowly, he stalked toward the shower and switched it off, then turned and grabbed a towel from the cupboard, when he made his approach toward me I finally snapped.
“Don’t touch me,” I said through gritted teeth. My eyes watched him like a hawk. All trust I had in this guy was now gone, obliterated for nothing more than a cheap thrill. “Don’t fucking touch me.”
“Paige,” Blaze finally spoke, I could hear the regret leaden in his voice but it did little to ease the torment that had gripped a hold of me and threatened to pull me under. “Please let me help you.”
“What part of Don’t Fucking Touch Me do you not understand?” I yelled back, my arms wrapped around my legs as if making myself look smaller would help me disappear.
“I know you’re angry right now and you have every right to be,” He paused and laid the towel down in front of me before backing away, not completely out of the room but far enough to ease my anxiety. “But I need to make sure you’re okay, physically at least.”
“Okay?” I let out a manic laugh, the guy was deluded if he thought he’d be getting any closer to me at this point. I stood up, every mark on clear display even more prominent, thanks to the relentless scrubbing. I took great satisfaction knowing he was uncomfortable when I heard his strangled gasp. “Do I fucking look okay to you?”
I grabbed the towel from the floor where he left it and wrapped it around myself. The anger vibrated through my body at this point, I wanted to lash out, didn’t care who or what at, just as long as it brought pain. I walked out of the bathroom leaving Blaze to follow cautiously behind and headed to the one drawer I’d been so graciously allowed to store what little clothing I’d been given. Grabbed a pair of sweats and jumper and proceeded to get dressed.
My emotions rode me like a rollercoaster, up and down and had me all over the place. Blaze still hadn’t said anything since we left the bathroom and it only served to feed the crazy train I’d now embarked on. Every second that went by only made it worse. I balled my fists, then the next second would release them, only to continue this process over and over again.
It all became too much though and before I knew it, I had walked up and socked him right in the jaw. He just stood there, no reaction, yet it made me feel good. I swung at him again, then again soon it was a relentless barrage against his chest, all while he stood there, taking each blow not saying a word.
Finally I broke for the second time, but unlike the last I didn’t fall. No, blaze caught me, and pulled me against his chest. Trying to soothe me.
“I am so sorry Paige, more than you’ll ever know.” He whispered into my hair as he picked me up and walked me over to the bed. “I had no idea that they’d had that all planned, if I did I’d have prepared you better for it. There was no way out of tonight without blowing my cover and placing you in harm's way.”
I just laid there sobbing, a broken messy shell of my former self. My heart was broken, knowing I’d almost certainly lost everything. Blaze sat beside me, head in his hands, apologizing over and over again.
“Nothing I can say will make this better for you Paige, but you have to understand tonight was about the choices we needed to make, and as much as it may have pained both of us we passed their sadistic little test,” He murmured quietly, the anguish clear in his voice. The way he acted now told me that he felt like he had no choice, but I couldn’t erase the event from earlier. “We only have a few more days and then it will all be over, I just need you to trust me a little longer. When all this is finished I promise you, I’ll make sure you get what you need to move on.”
