AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Damon motioned to the armchair near the window for me to sit on. “We just want to talk for a little bit. Nothing bad, just concerned is all.”
“Yeah, nah I think I’ll stand.” I was looking at him like he’d grown two heads. He was dreaming if he thought I’d willingly walk into the lion's den. He said it wasn’t anything bad, but my instincts said otherwise. “Why do I feel like I’m walking into an inquisition?”
“You’re not, though I do think you should sit down for what we have to talk about,” Jonah said softly, his eyes pleading with me. “Trust me, please.”
I hated when he gave me sad puppy eyes. I knew nothing good would come from that. Every time I asked where they went after our talks, I got those damn fucking eyes. I loved him, but god he infuriated me at times. As I looked at him and nodded toward Stryker, I continued. “Trust you? Are you gonna tell me where you two disappear to after we talk, or are you just going to shake your head and change the subject, like usual?”
“Come on, Firecracker, give us a chance.” The edge in his voice sent shivers down my spine. I both hated and loved that he could elicit that type of response. It made it hard at times to stay angry with him.
“Really? You really want to go there?” I asked in disbelief as I rolled my eyes. I really didn’t want to be there right now. My palms had begun to sweat, and my heart was beating rapidly. I wanted to be in my room sleeping. I hadn’t been sleeping well, as the nightmares had returned, but my therapist had given me something to help.
“We’re just concerned about you, Phee.” It was Logan that spoke up next. His usually dark spiked hair, now shaggy, was accompanied by the start of a scruffy looking beard. His elbows were resting on his knees, which made his muscular arms bulge to the point that it made the white tee he wore appear two sizes too small. The pull he had on me was unbelievably frustrating, even more so after that night in the basement. “We just want to know what’s going on with you.”
“What’s going on with me?” I scoffed. I still grappled with the internal battle that waged war on my heart and mind when it came to him. There were parts of me that wanted to hold him close and wipe clean the mistakes of the past, especially hearing how he was the one who had whisked me to safety, but the other half of me; that part had started to build a wall around my heart. It was still too raw, the way he had treated me, and just the thought of him in any other way scared the shit out of me.
“That’s not what I meant, and you know…” I held my hand up to stop him. I didn’t need a lecture from the king of denial. I didn’t need a lecture from any of them, to be honest. Every person in that room had been keeping a secret from me, so they were the last people to judge me for how I dealt with things.
“I’m dealing just fine, thank you very much.” It came out a little defensive, it couldn’t be helped though, as I’d started to feel like one of the witches out of The Crucible. “If it’s okay with everyone, I’m going to head to my room for a bit.”
“You’re running away, Phee.” Jonah got up and made his way over and stood in front of me. The look on his face was at odds with his body language. “When things get tough, you run. You’re not coming by the studio, you’re barely at school, and aside from last night, when was the last time you were sober?”
“He’s right, you know.” Through this whole thing, Damon had remained silent, observing from his perch near the fireplace. His usually clean-shaven face had a dark five o’clock shadow, but it was the look in his eyes that made my stomach turn. Pity stared back at me, which didn’t help the self-loathing that had started forming deep within me. “We had a deal, Phee, and you haven’t been keeping it. I spoke to your dad last night. Your dad thinks that maybe one of us needs to be with you at all times, and from what I have heard, I think it may be a good idea. I hate coming across as a hard arse, Baby G, but damn, something needs to change.”
I cocked my head and looked at him through slitted eyes. He'd been just as evasive as the others. When I questioned him, he’d give me the brush off, or change the subject, and now he had the audacity to question my behavior[2]? Fuck that shit, and fuck him.
“You want to talk about behaviour?” I pushed past Jonah as I stepped into the middle of the lounge room. The anger I’d suppressed had started bubbling up to the surface, and this shit show wasn’t helping the situation. I looked at each one of them as I tried to calm myself down. “Let’s talk about it, then. You want to know what I hate? I hate the stares, the looks and the whispers that have been following me around since I woke. The people that should be treating me like nothing happened, like I’m still the girl I was before the fucking kidnapping- you, have been so suffocating.”
Logan went to interrupt, but I was far from fucking finished. They claimed not to want to stress me out, but I was beyond that now. I could feel the rage as it burned inside. Pointing at them all, I continued. “Yeah, it’s fucking dangerous holding it all in, but why would I openly talk about it with you, when you’re all fucking hiding things from me? Everyone has been treating me like I may break, well guess what? It’s okay to fucking break.”
“We’re not meaning to keep things from you, Phee. We just want you to heal a little more, ” said Stryker, so matter-of-factly. “We’re all here for you, and whatever you need, we will be there to make it happen. Whatever you want, we will do and get for you.”
“And that's your answer to all of this? The constant fussing, lying to my face? The keeping of secrets? You’re doing it to help me heal?” I paced back and forth, as I tried to comprehend their reasoning, and came up short. “It’s having the opposite effect. I don’t talk anymore because of all the secrecy. You want me to heal, well, newsflash, I can’t do that if I’m kept in the dark about everything.”
Jonah placed a hand on my forearm to stop my pacing. “She’s right, Stryker. Look at her, all this secrecy, everything, is causing her more anxiety. If she can’t trust us, the guys that claim to love her beyond everything, then how is she meant to open up to us?”
“We agreed, J’, it was for the best. You were all for it,” Stryker pointed out. His voice was tense as he rubbed his forehead. My Grey Eyes looked torn, but angry at the same time. I guess tables turning can do that.
“Yeah, and now I’m saying that we were wrong.” Jonah turned back to me, and took my hand, uncertainty taking over his usually laid-back demeanour. “I’m so sorry, Phee. I wish I could go back and make a different decision.”
“J’, don’t, man,” Damon warned, his voice hard. But it fell on deaf ears.
“We have Kyle, Phee.” I stumbled at Jonah’s confession. The sharp sting of betrayal ricocheted through me as the truth finally came out.
“You what?” Why would they keep this from me? I had no idea what Jonah was now saying, not with all the thoughts and questions that were swirling around my head. Fuck that. I snatched my hand back from Jonah and spun towards the hall. “You have Kyle, the asshole that fucking raped me, and you’ve been doing what? Having sleepovers with the asshole?”
“It’s not like that, come on, Phee,” Jonah pleaded, guilt swimming in his eyes as he tried to reach out for me, but I swatted him away. The look he gave me normally made me want to wrap him up and comfort him, but right then, he, and the rest of them, were firmly cemented on my shit list.
“No. Don’t fucking touch me.” My voice shook as I tried to reign in the flood of emotions that threatened to spill over. As I gazed around the room at all of them, each one wore a similar contrite look. “You thought that keeping this from me was better for me, or were you trying to hide something else?”
“There’s more to it, Phee. Trust me, we didn’t know how to tell you, after you woke up. We all saw your walls go back up.” Stryker tried to plead their case, and he took a step forward, only to pause when I took another back, shaking my head slightly in warning. “We were waiting for the right time to tell you.”
“The right time,” I scoffed at his confession. It was a joke, and he should have known that, considering what Paige had been through. Running a hand through my hair, I willed myself to calm down. “There isn’t a right time for this. And you know it. So, where the hell is he?”
“I don’t think you want to know that right now.” It must have been Damon’s turn to try and placate me, but fuck, each of the four of them were as much to blame as the next. They’d all decided to keep the secret. But they had rocks in their heads if they thought they could tell me how to react to the deceit.
“I don’t fucking care, Damon. Where the fuck are you keeping the asshole?” The higher pitch in my voice, accompanied by the fast beating of my heart, told me that I needed to get away from there, but I also needed to know the answer to my questions. “Tell me, goddammit.”
“Not yet, Phee, it’s too soon.” It came out almost like a whisper, as Logan got up from the chair and made his way over to me, cupping my face. “I don’t know how you’re feeling, and I know you’re stressed, but you need time. I’m so so sorry.”
