Page 78 of Was I Ever Here

I give a small nod of the head and follow him out.

Outside, I notice a huge circular chair with very comfortable looking cushions.

“Dibs,” I call out as I skip excitedly towards it and plop myself into the massive chair with a pleased sigh. I curl my legs under me and Byzantine chuckles softly, settling into a deck chair close to me.

We fall into silence as the hypnotic lull of the ocean waves pulls us in. The water is rougher here, not as calm as back in Noxport, but the cottage is perched on a small hill, raised up and safe from the rocky terrain below. I listen to the waves crash, my chest releasing some of its tension until my attention falls back to the jutting cliff in the distance.

My breath slows, my heart skipping a beat and I can’t stop glancing back at it. A small distant part of me notices my body’s response, accompanied by a lingering eerie feeling.

Like I’ve been here before.

That same sense of déjà vu washes over me, and it startles me enough to make me reach for my glass of gin just to feel it burn down my throat.

Of course, Byzantine notices. “You okay?”

I smile at him, knowing the smile doesn’t quite reach my eyes. “Yeah.” I wave him off. “Just that weird feeling again. It’s nothing.” I point to the cliff. “How far is it from here? The view is probably pretty cool from up there.”

Byzantine grows suddenly very still and if I didn’t know any better I would even say he looks terrified. But then, he seems to realize it and I watch him morph his initial reaction into a forced casualness before he answers, “About a twenty minute walk on foot.”

His face falls blank as he goes back to staring at the ocean. I’m not an idiot, I can tell he’s been acting a little off since we got here. But is it worth bringing it up? He’d probably give me another one of his incredibly vague answers anyway. So I let it go and fall back into the ease of an evening spent with Byzantine, a shared bottle of wine and an oddly competitive game of Go Fish.

Chapter 44

Sunny

Mytoessinkintothe soft grass underneath my feet, every step taking me closer to the edge of the cliff. The one I've visited countless times in my dreams. Or what had felt like a dream. This feels more like walking through the sludge of an echoing memory.

The skies are angry, the clouds dark and looming as the wind howls in my ears. My hair flies into my eyes, as I try to see past the edge, down to the crashing waves. Suddenly, I feel myself tip forward, a hard tug as if gravity has become a sentient force, beckoning me to it.

Fear slashes through my senses, but no sound bursts out of my lungs as I fall down and down and down. The cold wall of water I plummet into does nothing but worsen my fall, making me sink further into the depth. I thrash, filled with suffocating terror, my clothes heavy and pulling me even further down. I gulp in water, my lungs burning with the lack of oxygen and the sea water replacing it.

Then, unexpectedly, my feet find purchase at the bottom and I pump my knees up, my head popping out from the surf as I gasp and retch loudly. I spin around, confused and disoriented, until dread replaces the fear flowing through my veins. I know this place…

I grow eerily still, standing breathless in the middle of the same pool River drowned in. I can barely make sense of it when I hear her voice behind me, “Sunny.”

My heart explodes in my chest, swiveling around in near paralyzing shock.

Ever since her death, I’ve wished to see her again. I didn’t care if it was real, or an apparition or even just my imagination—I was just desperate to see her. Her familiar face, smile, eyes. If only I could see her one last time.

And now she’s here, a warm smile on her face when nothing else about her radiates the same feeling. Her hair wet, her skin ghostly white, the clothes she wears the same worn the night she drowned.

My heart lurches at the sight. “River,” I croak out, my body moving towards her despite it all. My twin. My best friend.

Her smile widens and she opens her arms inviting me into her embrace. I slip into her, my tears falling in a steady flow. “I’ve missed you so much,” I sob into her arms and she holds me, a steady force holding me up.

“I know,” she soothes. “I know.”

I hiccup, begrudgingly pulling away so I can look at her. She hasn’t aged. Her face still holds the youth I’ve lost. But I’ve lost a lot more than just our baby face since she died.

I’ve lost myself.

Her eyes are pure warmth as I continue to study her.

“Why did you have to die?” I ask, my voice cracking with the weight of my heartache. “Why did you have to leave me here alone?” I cry even harder, my tears flowing heavy and merging with the chlorine water we’re standing in.

“We’ll meet again, Sunny. I promise.”

She peers at me, her eyes full of wisdom as if holding the answers to questions she couldn’t even fathom when she was alive.

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