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Jessa places her hand on my arm, a sympathetic expression all over her face. “Andy, are you okay?”
I’m perfectly still, my body not moving except for my heart beating at a rapid rate.
“Was it your dad again?”
I nod without a word.
Jessa places her book down, then turns the lamp off. There’s the light of the moon coming through the window, enough to see the shadows of the room. She places her hand on my shoulder and pulls me into her. With her hands wrapped around me, my head lays against her chest, listening to the calm beat of her heart.
It’s a beautiful tune. A soft melody I’ve known my entire life.
And as always, she’s the calm in my raging storm.
But as we lay in the dark, I don’t know which is the biggest nightmare. The recurring visions of my sick father or the fact that everyone was right…
I’m in love with my best friend.
Five
Jessa
Three years ago
Ashton’s birthday completely drained me.
Who would’ve thought a first birthday could be so exhausting? And I wasn’t the one running around chasing bubbles or kicking balls, let alone jumping on the bouncy castle for what felt like an eternity.
If I was this tired from sitting around and eating copious amounts of food, I can’t even imagine how exhausted Millie must be. Occasionally, she stops to have a quick bite to eat and chat, never appearing to be breaking a sweat. Some women are born to be mothers, and Millie reminds me so much of Aunt Charlie.
Millie is the most gracious host, attending to all the guests while keeping a smile on her face. Will spends most of the party making sure Ashton plays nice with his little friends since there were a few questionable moments with a stolen ball, resulting in tears.
Everything is perfect, except for Andy.
When I walk into the conversation with Eric and Rocky talking so animatedly, it should’ve been the red flags of something unpleasant ahead. I never expected it would be Andy going on some date with breasts larger than Mount Rushmore.
Rocky mouthing off is normal. I expect nothing less. Uncle Lex keeping quiet is usual for him. He is very respectful when it comes to women. Eric, well, he’s a mixed bag.
But never did I expect Andy to be so… shallow.
That’s not even the word.
Asshole.
Jerk.
Insensitive dick.
It’s not like Andy is a virgin, but he isn’t like the other men I know. At least, I didn’t think he was until today.
Perhaps, in hindsight, my anger shouldn’t have resulted in venting to Ava, who then went ahead and told Millie. But if anyone can knock some sense into him, it’sourcousins.
When I stroll outside to clear my head, I happen to get a text from this guy I stayed in contact with after college. He’s in town next week and wants to catch up for coffee. Of course, there’s no reason not to meet him, but just as he is about to respond, Andy comes to say goodbye.
I do my best to hide my disappointment in him, pretending everything is fine, but the truth is, I’m far from fine. The moment he leaves, I know the anger and jealousy inside me needs something or someone to calm it down. So, I text Christian back, expressing just how much I’m looking forward to seeing him.
Since Andy left, it was my cue to leave. I could’ve stayed with my cousins, but I’m not in the mood. I’m desperate to bury my head in a book and live vicariously through a fictional boyfriend sweeping me off my feet.
I promise Mom I’ll drop by her place quickly before they leave for Europe. Her husband, Jack, and she are traveling for a much-needed getaway. In addition, my aunt Scarlett, who Mom works for, just won an Oscar for a movie role which means Mom is busy scheduling all her press tours.
