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“It’s not as brutal as you make it sound.”
With a slow, disbelieving head shake, I ignore the tightness inside my throat. “You’re not the one hearing it, Andy.”
His gaze flickers, then he pinches his lips together.
“Well, you’re not standing in front of a married woman.”
As our eyes battle with words spoken and the words which remain unspoken, the deep stare coming from my former best friend evokes emotions I’ve long buried. Then, a wave of guilt consumes me.
“I need to go.”
“Of course, to play happy families,” he mutters under his breath.
“That’s where you’re wrong, Andy. You can believe everything you want to believe, but surely, you know me better than anyone else. I’m going home because I have no choice.”
“You always have a choice, Jessa.”
“It’s not my life anymore,” I whisper. “But you, you have everything.”
He drops his head. At the same time, I notice his chest begin to rise and fall. Then, slowly, he lifts his eyes, and his penetrating stare touches every part of my body. I try to stand still, ignoring the voices urging him to touch me.
But all these feelings are wrong. I’m a married woman, and I’ll never betray my husband.
“That’s where you’re wrong,” he finally says, moving his fingers toward a loose curl where he tugs it softly, causing my breath to hitch. “I don’t have everything. If I did, you wouldn’t be going home to another man.”
Eleven
Jessa
The phone rings while resting on the bathroom countertop.
Bentley is sitting inside the bathtub, splashing around and playing with his bath toys. I reach over to seeBenedicton the screen. Then, with a deep breath, I answer the call.
“Jessa,” he greets in a formal tone. “It’s nice of you to finally answer.”
“I’m bathing our son, hoping he’ll relax and sleep through the night.”
There’s silence between us even though I can hear noise in the background. Benedict is in Milan for two days, nothing unusual. Rarely do I ask questions anymore, unable to keep up with what’s going on because my focus is always on Bentley.
“Where were you today?”
I bite my lip, knowing the truth is better than being caught in a lie.
“I went to visit Andy in London. We took Bentley to the park, drank coffee…” I pause, but quickly continue, “… then the weather turned, so I came home.”
“You never mentioned you were going to meet him?”
“It slipped my mind. Bentley woke up several times, and you were leaving for Milan.”
Someone calls his name, distracting him momentarily. Benedict’s voice muffles, assuming he’s talking to someone else while I wait in annoyance.
“Next time, I insist you tell me where you’re going, especially since you are taking our son out.”
My lips curl as the pound of my heart becomes louder. Heat flushes through my body, causing me to breathe heavily.
“Andy is family. I shouldn’t have to justify my actions when it comes to family. So, I went out. God knows what you do, Benedict, on these work trips. Have you ever wondered why Bentley has never called you Daddy?” I ask hastily.
“Jessa,” Benedict growls. “I don’t need this now.”
