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I sit up against the pillow, suddenly wide awake. “What does that mean?”
“It means you have nothing to worry about because if I could be there with you, I would.”
A sigh escapes me as my head falls back. “This is so hard, the distance thing. Amongst everything else.”
Andy falls quiet for just a moment. “We both know this was never going to be easy. But Jessa, for now, we need to keep this between us. I don’t want Bentley nor you to suffer because Benedict finds out.”
“I made up a lie and said you’re seeing Anastasia,” I admit, then continue. “He asked if you would be here, and I said no, you and Anastasia are a thing, so you stayed in Spain for work.”
“If he finds out…”
“How will he find out? I promise I’m careful.”
“I know, but I don’t want to put you in danger.”
I bite my lip, trying to ignore the stir down below. To lighten the mood, I shift the conversation to something more thrilling other than my husband finding out.
“You’re making us sound so forbidden.”
“Well, we are. You’re married,” he reminds me.
“And you’re supposedly my cousin.”
“Thankfully, you’re not actually my cousin,” Andy muses, reiterating the facts since our whole life we were brought up as a family. “God, our parents are so twisted even calling us that.”
“Taboo is the correct word to define us.”
“I mean it, Jessa. Until you end things, we have to be careful.” Andy is speaking only the truth, but this is the first conversation we’re having about me leaving Benedict. Every time I think about it, the whole thing feels too overwhelming, and I start to feel sick to my stomach. “You’re going to end things, right?”
“Andy, I need to get some sleep, but we can talk more about it when I get the chance. Right now, I just want to spend time with my family.”
“Sleep well, Jessa.”
“You too, Andy.”
We hang up the phone, but I continue to hold onto it. There’s so much to think about, and the more I think about it, the more the panic consumes me.
Right now, I need sleep, praying for some miracle when I wake up.
* * *
It’s rare for me to be having dinner with all my parents, the last time being my wedding if I recall correctly.
Kate and Mom both cooked, and, of course, Dad and Jack talked about work because that’s what they always did. On occasion, the conversation shifted to motorsports, but only after a few drinks.
“It’s so good to have you back,” Mom says, touching my hand. “And, of course, to have Bentley visit. What are your plans for the next week?”
“Tomorrow is catch up with Nash and Sienna, then Saturday is the party, which you both can come to, right?”
“We wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Mom assures me. “It’s a shame Michael and his family are traveling in Asia. He would’ve loved to see you.”
“I know, Mom. I miss him too.”
“There’ll be another time. So what day are you free so we can take Bentley to the zoo?”
“Um…” I try to do the math in my head of how long I have and who I planned what with. “I have some time next week. My flight back home is next Saturday.”
I see Mom glance over to Dad, who drops his eyes like he’s guilty of something. Upon seeing this, I look over at Kate, who’s definitely forcing a smile. That, I’m sure of. Jack is in his own world, enjoying the chicken casserole.
