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Ava pulls me toward the large table where Bentley’s birthday cake sits. It’s three layers, covered in sprinkles and chocolate with a big number one on the top. Beside it, there’s a smaller cake known as the smash cake.
I take Bentley from Mom, who’s carrying him, to stand where Ava lights up the candle. At the count of three, everyone sings Happy Birthday while Bentley watches with a confused look on his face. When it ends, I pretend to blow the candle to make him follow. He figures it out, and with my help, we blow it out together as everyone cheers.
Across the table, standing beside Uncle Lex. is Andy. My gaze fixates on him as I begin to tear up, his eyes soft and filled with an inner glow as he smiles in return.
None of this would’ve been possible if he didn’t walk back into my life and remind me of everything I’d been missing.
My family.
The ones who raised me, the uncles and aunts who treated me like their own, the cousins who made memories with me, to the close friends we call family.
Every single person here has played a role in my life.
Unconditional love is the only thing I want for my son, and as I stare longingly at Andy again, I realize it’s the only thing I want from him.
To be loved, and only loved, by the man I havealwaysloved.
Eighteen
Andy
When Jessa texted me to mention Millie and Ava throwing a birthday party for Bentley, I didn’t want to tell her they asked me days before if it was a good idea.
Frankly, Jessa needed to reconnect with everyone, so it made sense to celebrate Bentley turning one and a trip back home for her.
Noah had been in a great mood since his daughter called him, and they mended their broken relationship, insisting I fly back home for a week to join everyone.
Considering Noah is technically my boss, I wasn’t in a position to say no but still played my cards, not wanting to allude to anything going on between his daughter and me.
The only person I’d confided in was Millie. I trust her with all my being, even though I insisted both Jessa and I keep things to ourselves. Millie is somewhat of my sounding board with the mess I’ve found myself in. While I never mentioned what happened in my hotel, Millie knows my feelings are strong, but the predicament isn’t so easily resolved when Jessa is married to another man.
Yet seeing Jessa again, I just want to hold her and kiss those beautiful lips of hers which continue to tease me. But I held back when I surprised her, aside from the friendly hug, knowing my nosy cousins would be watching.
More importantly, I don’t want my appearance to be the focal point—this day is all for Bentley.
It doesn’t mean the smell of her perfume doesn’t drive me wild. It’s getting harder and harder to be in her presence without thinking about her completely naked and spread out for me to devour.
This is a kid’s party, so now I have to control my rampant thoughts once again.
After saying hello to everyone, I find myself near the bouncy castle with Lex and Mom.
“It’s good to see you, kid,” Mom says, lacing her arm into mine. “Why do you look older?”
I chuckle softly. “Because you’re watching a bunch of kids jump around in a bouncy castle, and I’m towering over you now?”
Lex and Mom laugh. “You towered over me at the age of ten. It doesn’t help that I’m the shortest in the family.”
“So, whose genes did I get then?”
“Definitely Elijah’s,” Mom informs me, but then she slows her movements as if something is bothering her. “I’ve been thinking a lot about him lately.”
My throat thickens, wondering why his presence is being felt everywhere. I still haven’t told Mom about my recurring dreams, not wanting to upset her. She’s always been an open book about him, but truthfully, I’ve never really felt the need to ask questions.
Lex puts his arm around Mom for her to rest her head against him.
“I… uh… me too,” I manage to stumble out.
“You have?”
