Page 19 of Reckless


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I hated the way they smelled. I hated the way they looked. I hated the way they freaking stole from me like they had the right to take what is mine.

But it was Wednesday. So here I was, sucking it up and “adulting” it like the rest of the world, the visitor’s sign-in form wrinkling in my lap. After all, this was my life now. A never-ending cycle of doctors’ appointments, check-ins, and hospital bills.

All because of him.

Gosh I hated him. I hated that no matter how far we ran he always found us. But most of all, I hated how weak we were against him. How stuck my mother and I were on his never-ending carousel of games. With no end in sight.

But it didn't stop me from visiting. From reminding myself what he was capable of. What he would do if I didn't stay under his radar. If I didn't obey.

I had a messed-up life, but then again, I never claimed to be normal.

“She’s ready to see you now.” My ears perked up as the nurse approached me, taking the visitor's form from my hands.

I nodded, ignoring the way my hands start to shake. No matter how many times I came, it never seemed to get any easier.

The nurse led me down the hall, and my combat boots echoed on the laminated floors. We made a left turn and then a right before entering a small room at the end of the hall.

Even after all these visits, my breath still left me as I took her in.

Her frail frame was hogging the meager hospital bed. Her brown hair matted to the generic polyester pillowcase. She looked smaller every time I visited. Her weak frame a wind chime just waiting to be blown into the sky.

“I’ll let you two catch up.” The nurse gave me a weak smile before closing the door behind her.

“Hi, Mom,” I whispered. For some reason, I always thought you had to whisper in hospitals. It was stupid I know, but it still didn't stop me from whispering all my secrets all the same. Like the walls would snatch up my words otherwise. I took a seat next to her, my boots leaving smudges on the pale floor. Her head turned to me, and for a moment, I thought I caught a glimpse of her old spark behind her eyes,

“Is it Wednesday already?” she asked and I smiled, the motion not quite reaching my eyes,

“Yup. Crazy how fast the time goes, am I right?” I said to appease her. Truth be told, the time had been going by slower than boulders in a dried-up river. It had been two months. Two months since she first wound up here. Since he put her here. I still didn't know all the details of that night, but if I knew one thing this was all him. And as far as I was concerned every sick twisted inch of him could rot in hell.

I mean at this point my willpower was equivalent to that of a super-shopper on double coupon day and every day that went by I had to remind myself not to tear my hair out. My mom and I handled the shit storm that had become our life together. Now it was just me against the beast controlling our world, and I didn't know how much longer I could hold on.

But Levingtons didn't get fucking lost. So, I traced the words along the inside of my wrist, the sharpie now slightly faded, and buried the fear deep inside. I wasn't going to lose her. I decided a long time ago that losing her wasn't an option.

“Tell me how is your piece going?” I winced. Eleven times, eleven times I’d come to visit her and she never failed to ask about that stupid art piece.

“It's going fine,” I lied. The piece was currently lying in the dumpster outside my apartment covered in rotten Chinese food. I tossed it there right after Kaleb called it trash. The man had looked at it like it was an abomination. Like it had physically pained him to lay eyes on it.

Just the thought of him had my blood boiling. I couldn’t believe the dark-haired pain in the ass had actually shown up at my home. Blew through the door like some sort of self-entitled Armani cologne-drenched wolf.

My face heated just thinking about the way he had looked at me. Like he owned me. Possessed me. Like I was the silly girl forever in his debt.

I scoffed.

If anything, he was in debt to me.

That fucker owed me a pair of ballet tights.

I should have just given him the journal. Then he would be off my ass and wolah, all my magical new Kaleb encrusted problems would disappear and I would be stuck with my same old usual problems.

But I didn't. Maybe it was the fact that he came looking for me. Maybe it was the way he kissed me so relentlessly. That night at the Black Mansion. Or maybe I was just the crazy girl who liked to get burned.

But I wasn't quite done with Kaleb. And if last week was any indication, he was far from done with me.

“You're a terrible liar, you know that.” Snapping out of my thoughts I glanced at my mother's heart-shaped face.

“All these years of practice and you can't even pull off a silly little lie to your own mother.” My hands wrung. I fully expect another lecture about how important a perfect mask is to a Levington's survival, but to my surprise, she just smiled. And then my mother was laughing. The broken sound filling up the sterile room.

“You look so much like him,” she said as her smile faded. I didn’t need to ask her to know who she was referring to. My father.

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