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‘If that’s not too much for a guy you’ve just met from a dating app? I’m not really sure about the etiquette …’
‘That would be nice actually, let me just text Henry.’
‘Awesome. I’ll go get the bill …’ Brody subtly pulled the bill towards him and walked over to the counter. Helen rummaged in her handbag and pulled out her phone:
Helen:Henry I’m so so sorry but I don’t need the lift anymore! Brody’s going to drop me back.
Henry:Dude, I’m already halfway there!
Helen:I know!! I’ll make it up to you!!
Henry:What about meeting Nessy at dinner later?
Helen:F___k! I will make this up to you. I’ve already said yes, can’t backtrack! Gotta go will grovel later xx
Henry:Fine see you xx
Okay not my best behaviour. But she had to forgive herself. After all those days spent bored and (whisper it) lonely, checking Jonathan’s Instagram, and chastising herself for not being happier when Sophie met Frank … she deserved to have some fun! To make some memories like Nanny G said. For her life to have some excitement in it; to not just be work, commute, social media, Itsu.
Today with Brody felt like a holiday; a break in the clouds where for once she felt young, attractive, and free again. It was like time had started to bend and flex so it raced by, and she was clutching on to the minutes they could spend together as they fell through her fingers like grains of sand. Too soon she would be back to London and … well maybe things were going to be different this time.
Brody stood in front of her opening the café door, a slightly shy smile on his face.
This time she was going to hold on to every moment: finally, it felt like her time. Maybe this is just who she had been waiting for.
Chapter 5
Brody had a nice level of confidence. He didn’t seem close to being arrogant, he didn’t need to crowbar his achievements into the conversation, or sit up straighter when another good-looking man walked by.
He hadn’t even seemed to clock the young mother on the table opposite gazing over at him (before her husband arrived and her eyebrows descended into a frown). But unlike Helen, he wasn’t self-deprecating: he didn’t embellish what he was good at, but he didn’t deny his achievements existed either.
Naturally easy going, he had an optimism that soothed Helen. Helen was, by her own admission, always anxious about something; yet for the few hours she spent with Brody she forgot that her council tax payment was overdue, and that the verruca on her big toe had re-emerged. Instead, she experienced the rare joy of being in the present moment.
Brody matched her pace as they strode across the sand: Helen discovering that Converse trainers would, in fact, have been a far better outfit choice.
‘Should have worn my flats!’ Helen said apologetically gesturing downwards.
‘Well I can’t talk. I wear these pretty much 365 days a year.’ Brody lifted up one wirey leg to flash his pair of Havaianas. ‘So don’t be too embarrassed if I turn up for a date in London still in my flips!’
Helen turned her head away from him to give the impression of admiring the horizon, as she hid her smile into the collar of her jumper. A date in London!
They made their way along the beach at a languid pace, the kind of pace you walk at when you’re the last people to leave a very good party. Reaching the car park with no stretch of the beach left to explore, Brody paused next to a black sporty car that Helen vaguely recognised as a Tesla.
‘So you didn’t go for the traditional surfer VW van?’
‘Sorry to disappoint you but I’ve also never visited Hawaii and I’m not going to make us listen toThe Beach Boyseither …’ Brody paused and then looked down at his feet which made a slight shuffle on the sand. ‘So I hope I’m going to suggest this in a way that’s suitably post #metoo …’
Helen braced herself for a stab of disappointment: here comes the old ‘let’s carry this on back at mine’, ‘I have a nice bottle of wine’, ‘a view of the waves’, ‘the most comfy couch …’ She would most certainly like to go back to Brody’s house at some point, if things went well, but now felt too soon. She didn’t want to say goodbye to him, and it was getting chilly out, but if all that happened right now, it would feel, well, she’d rather live in this moment a little longer, before all those tricky questions came up.
As much as she wished she could channel Elle and have a moment of passion before turning over to the guy in bed with a devilish smile and say, ‘I’m not looking for anything serious you know …’ she just didn’t have it in her. How her mind worked was very simple: if she liked someone enough to be naked with them, she would want more. In fact, she would expect it, then when it turned out that they didn’t see this as the start of some great romance, that they hadn’t already started getting used to the tube ride between their flats with a cosy familiarity, then she would feel wounded and rejected.
‘Would you like to stop off at Hell’s Mouth? Assuming you’re okay to get home just a little later? I’ve looked at the sat nav and it’s about halfway back to yours, and forgetting the name, it’s actually a pretty cool place to see the sun go down.’ Brody paused and reached out to take Helen’s hand. Her fingers rested in his. ‘I also feel like I should clarify that I am going to be taking you home, and if sitting in a stranger’s car on a cliff edge is a bit much for you then I can just take you straight there …’ Noticing Helen’s pensive expression Brody added, ‘I know it’s too soon, I just don’t want this to end right now.’
Brody smiled, and Helen found herself reaching towards the door handle. Sitting in a (very nice) car with him felt intimate, her mind leapt forwards six months to them taking a road trip, bags packed … The car purred into motion and Helen fidgeted crossing and uncrossing her legs, trying to work out what body language looked the most elegant. As the car pulled out onto the road, she had to bat away the feeling that people would be expecting a much better-looking woman to be sat in the passenger seat.
Hell’s Mouth was a gaping hole in the cliff’s face that created a deep bowl shape into the sea. If you walked to the lip of the mouth, you could dangle your legs off the edge of the cliff and feel the surging waves beneath. There was a tiny strip of beach beneath the circling gulls, that would be impossible to access from land. The whole place reminded you of smugglers shining their false lights across the rocks, luring ships to wreck.
Brody already had both of his legs hanging over the edge, and patted the rough grass beside him. He was still wearing just a T-shirt despite the strong cool evening air that was roaring off the ocean. His eyes glowed green in the fading light. A silver pendant hung around his neck, drawing Helen’s eyes down to the toned muscles of his chest.
