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Now she’d slept through brunch and had walked into the kitchen that morning to be faced with a passive aggressive half-dry scrambled egg sulking in the pan. Mum had folded up the tea towel when she walked into the room and gave her a smile that said, ‘I’m not even going to ask.’
Waking up back in her single bed, Helen had felt like the last twenty-four hours hadn’t belonged to her life. The memory of Brody wasn’t as sharp as it had been when she went to sleep, and the things that he’d said which excited her so much had become hazy, no matter how many times she tried to replay them in her head. She was already starting to feel like they may not have happened, or at least were unlikely to happen again.
They had only kissed twice: once on the cliff tops and a second time gently before she strode off into the night, trying to appear steady in Brody’s flip flops. Helen had felt like she was sixteen again creeping back down the gravel driveway, hoping that the crunch of her footsteps wouldn’t cause a light to flick on in the house.
As soon as she was safely in her bedroom, too wired to sleep, the details of the date had already been poured over in her Queens xoxo WhatsApp group:
Sophie:Soooo how was the d-a-t-e?
Are you okay?
Helen:Sorry I was out wayyy longer than I thought.
It was amazing.
(I know I shouldn’t say that as it’s only been 1 date)
We went to a little café by the beach, then we watched the sunset from the clifftops, and maybe had a kiss!!
(Or two!!)
But he didn’t try for anything else like that, if you know what I mean.
Main points are that he’s been single for 18 months, is a successful entrepreneur (very fancy car) and said he was looking for his last first date.
I’ll voice note you later with all the details xx
Sophie:Seems like a gentleman too to me :-)
So I guess you’re seeing each other again?
Helen:Waiting for him to message me, but we’ve already planned our second date! :-) xx
Elle:He didn’t send you a goodnight message?
Helen:No but we parted at midnight, so it was technically already the next day.
I’m not going to read into it, I think he’ll message later.
Elle:Okay babe let us know.
And keep your options OPEN, remember it’s just one date xxxx
The post-mortem analysis of the date had indicated a lot of positive ‘signs’: Brody had been in no rush to seduce her, future dates were hinted at, he wasn’t newly single, he said Nanny G had sounded cool, and then there was the pair of Havaianas still on her feet …
But no notification had appeared on the Connex app saying Brody had messaged her. She dared not open it in case when he logged on it showed that she’d already been online a few hours ago which could make it look like she was either:
A. Talking to other guys
B. Desperately waiting on a message from him
Whilst Elle would purposefully hint on her dates that she was seeing other guys, ‘I had dinner there witha friendlast week actually …’ Helen was unconvinced this was a lust-inducing strategy.
Helen sat staring at her phone. On autopilot she opened Instagram, closed Instagram, and glanced again through her WhatsApp messages. Her fingers felt itchy, and lingered over the Connex app. She opened Instagram again and spent twenty minutes unsuccessfully digging through a lot of _brody_, therealbrody, and even a brooody (definitely not right) in an attempt to find him online.
‘I must try to be more present!’ Helen inwardly chastised herself. She knew creeping on a guy’s profile on Instagram (especially one who you’d only had one date with) wasn’t ‘healthy’.
Helen had noticed that whenever she felt a bit exposed emotionally (like when she’d finally had a date with someone she actually liked) after the initial warmth of the contact evaporated, she was left with a nagging twinge in her gut that told her something wasn’t right, or was about to go wrong. No matter how much she tried to push these thoughts out of her mind, the only thing that quenched her thirsty brain was checking something: checking when the guy she liked was last online, looking at his pictures on social media, googling his username on obscure internet forums … the list went on.
