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“And you made an ass of yourself by offering your hand in marriage and five cows as dowry or something? I mean based on this, I’m just guessing.” He laughed at her expression and waved his hand to indicate her general essence.
“I happened to be adorable, thank you. Everybody thought so,” Shoshana said, making herself eat the second donut much slower. At least slow enough that she actually tasted it.
“Everybody? Who is everybody?” He lifted away from the door jamb and actually walked into her office.
“Half the Sisterhood, it feels like. I’m booked for lunches for the next month and a half.” Shoshana brandished her phone with the hand that wasn’t sticky with donut droppings.
“Well that’s great, be sure to bring your portfolio,” Bax said, a mercenary gleam in his eye, Shoshana made a sound of protest and he glared at her, “If those witches are going to make you sign up for cookie duty, you should at least get some business out of it. Don’t look at me like that, you’re good at marketing.”
“I’m good at social media. In-person sales is a whole other thing, that’s why you exist.”
“Yeah, okay,” Baxter said, unconvinced, “So you went to services and reminded people you weren’t dead, there was great rejoicing, and you were brought back to the bosom of community. Obviously, that means you spent the night hanging from the ceiling and going generally batshit.”
“No. Well, okay kinda. But not really. It was mainly other stuff.” Shoshana made a face that she knew was petulant, but that was the point.
Baxter was a good friend because he knew when to indulge and when to tell her to get over her shit. Right now he was in indulge-mode, and she knew they had time before the day got going. It was the whole reason she was at the store at this hateful hour in the first place.
“I have always loved your ability to straddle a fence, Sho. That was the best non-answer in the history of non-answers given on Saturday mornings at eight o’clock,” He made a show of checking his watch, “Okay strike that, eight fifteen.”
“Dick,” Shoshana said, but there was no sting to it.
She licked her fingers and ignored the face he made. They were in her office, she could be a heathen if she wanted.
“So the Sisterhood ladies didn’t talk to me until we were at dinner. They all texted. But that doesn’t matter. I met Hot Rabbi at the oneg.”
“That’s the coffee fellowship thing afters, right?” Bax said in his most Presbyterian voice.
“Yes, also sometimes there’s cake. Last night there was everything because you dangle a hot rabbi in front of that many women and they have to bake or explode.” She reached into her desk drawer and pulled out a small packet of moist towelettes from the barbecue place up the street. Licking her fingers was great for the sugar rush, but her hand was still sticky, and it was making her feel gross.
“I don’t remember that part of sex ed, but my school was abstinence only, so they probably hid it behind a cupcake metaphor or something.” Bax was perched on the stool opposite her desk. The office was so cramped she couldn’t really fit an actual chair over there if she was going to keep the overstuffed monstrosity she called her desk chair. It was fine. Bax didn’t mind and he was the only one who spent more than a few minutes in her office anyway.
“So, I’m at the oneg, right, and I’m freaking out because Abi and Leah abandoned me and you know I’m not just going to go up to a group and start a conversation--”
“Coward,” he said, because he was a staunch extrovert and refused to understand her social anxiety.
“Dick,” Shoshana said again, “So I’d only been staring at the guy for ninety minutes during services and thinking all kinds of unclean thoughts about him--because Bax, the man isdeliriouslyhot--and then at the oneg he just walked right up to me and asked me for my number.”
Baxter’s mouth fell open.
“Right?” Shoshana said, still a little surprised herself. “I mean I gave it to him, but I didn’t expect to actually hear from him. I figured he was just, like, doing his job. But then he texted me last night and then I called him--or he called me I don’t know, it doesn’t matter, and basically long story short I got maybe ten minutes of sleep last night.”
Baxter held the half empty Starbucks frappe bottle to his forehead as though to fend off a faint. He used his hand to cover his eyes and it took her a moment to realize he was silently laughing on the stool, his whole body convulsing with humor. Shoshana made a noise and he waved his hand to shut her up.
After a moment, he made a great show of getting himself under control, opened his eyes, looked her over, and then was off on another round of laughter.
“I’m glad you’re amused,” she said, absolutely refusing to be offended.
Her office had originally been a dark, windowless space, but the first thing she’d done had been to take a skillsaw to the wall, cutting a rectangle that ran the length of it. After that they had to install a window or explain to customers why there was a big, gaping hole in the wall of the showroom. She glanced past Baxter, out the window, knowing there was no one in the showroom, but force of habit making her do it anyway.
“I also had a bit of a panic over the whole thing when he asked me out last night.”
“Mm, because gift horses are meant to be questioned?” he asked, dripping sageness. Shoshana narrowed her eyes at him.
“No, because of the bubbes.”
“Oh, right, the bubbes. One must never forget those. They’re dangerous”
“Obviously, where have you been?” Shoshana ignored the look he was giving her and moved a file from one side of her desk to the other. “Derek is going to come by around two. We’re going to be in the workroom filming. Is that okay with you?”
