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Edward Heavenly had barely drunk anything before. Then his wife had died, and Edward Heavenly had turned to the bottle. He wanted to be able to wipe away the memories that made him fall asleep crying at night. Eleanor ended up lying in bed hearing her father sobbing and it hurt. She didn’t like hearing him like this. Her mother had been Edward Heavenly’s world. Eight years now, and he was still struggling to cope. Eleanor was doing the best she could, and she missed her mother. It wasn’t easy to make the memories fade when her father refused to let go.
If he let go, they would be in a better place. They wouldn’t be close to losing everything because of his card games and his drinking. Eleanor had finally put her foot down. Now Baron Heavenly had to pick himself up and get through it. Eleanor was beginning to wonder if he was able to do that.
“What am I supposed to do, Eleanor?” Edward Heavenly slumped into his chair. “When I’m sober, I think of your mother, and that hurts.” He rubbed at his chest. “A lot.”
“I know it does and it hurts me, too.” Eleanor knelt and rested her hands on his knees. “But we must think of ourselves, Father. You’ve still got me, and I’m not going anywhere.”
Edward Heavenly gave her a small smile. He reached out and stroked her hair.
“I’m very lucky that you are my child. But you’ve put everything to one side to look after me. You’ve given up your life to dedicate it to me. You shouldn’t have done that.”
“Who was going to look after you?”
“The servants would be there for me.”
Eleanor snorted. “And they would bring you a drink every time you snapped your fingers. Not while I’m around.”
Edward Heavenly groaned. “You are mean, Eleanor. I hope you’re not so unkind to those orphans you look after every other day.”
Eleanor smiled. “Someone has to, Father. I don’t mind doing it. I’d like them to have someone to look up to, and I hope that is me.”
“And you throw your life away looking after other people.” Edward Heavenly sighed. “Don’t you ever want someone to look after you.”
Eleanor knew what he meant. She took a deep breath. “It’s fine, Father. Really.”
The look on her father’s face made Eleanor’s heart ache. He did love her, she didn’t need to question that. She had been close to getting married eight years ago when her mother died, but Eleanor had seen that her father needed her. Her fiancé hadn’t thought the same way and tried to make her choose. Eleanor didn’t need to think and had chosen her father. Her fiancé hadn’t been very happy, but Eleanor didn’t care. If he couldn’t respect that she needed to look after her father now that he was alone, then her fiancé didn’t really love her. It hadn’t been as painful as Eleanor thought when she watched him walk away.
“You need a marriage, Eleanor,” Edward Heavenly insisted. “You’re approaching thirty.”
“And I was put on the shelf eight years ago, Father. I’m fine with it, I said.”
“Why don’t I believe you?”
Eleanor didn’t blink as she looked up at her father. She rose to her feet. “Believe what you want. I’m happy.”
Edward Heavenly snorted. “That I really don’t believe.”
Eleanor was not having this conversation now. Edward Heavenly kept badgering her to find someone who was willing to marry a woman who was turning thirty in eighteen months. Eleanor had no desire to go and find a man. If there were any who were interested in having her as a wife, they weren’t desirable themselves. Eleanor had accepted the fact that she wouldn’t have what everyone else had, and she was fine with it.
For the most part.
When are you going to stop lying to yourself?
Eleanor pushed her thoughts away and leaned over to kiss her father’s forehead.
“I’m going to head out to the orphanage. Just make sure you stay in tonight.”
“I promise.” Edward Heavenly held up his hand. “Just go. You don’t need to worry about me.”
Eleanor kept the smile up as she closed the door, but it faded as soon as she was in the hall. She had seen something near her father’s hand when she was kissing his head and her heart had sunk. The cards. He had found a deck. That only meant one thing.
He wasn’t going to keep his promise tonight.
Eleanor spied her father’s valet coming down the hall and hurried to him.
“Parsons.”
Parsons looked up and blinked. Then he gave Eleanor a slight bow.
