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“Is that all?” Nathan’s smile dimmed. “I had hoped…”
“What? That I had fallen in love with her overnight?” Simon raised his eyebrows. “Come, Nathan. Be reasonable.”
“I did not think it was love. I had perhaps hoped that…since you proposed to her…there was some hint of affection?”
Nathan looked at him thoughtfully, expectantly. Simon sighed and checked the clock over the mantelpiece. It was nearly midday.
“Might I have a nip of scotch added to this?” Simon lifted his coffee cup. “All of this has quite got my wind up, as you might imagine.”
“Of course.” Nathan rose and crossed to the drinks cart, pulling out the decanter of scotch and then pouring a thimble into Simon’s coffee cup.
“Thank you.” He drank it down, grateful for the slight burn of Scots courage as he broached this difficult subject with his best friend.
“She is a beautiful lady,” Simon confessed, staring into the black liquid in his cup. “I will admit that last night she looked especially stunning, and I will own to the fact that…when I held her in my arms, albeit briefly…”
“So…why do you seem so agonised about it?” Nathan asked.
“Well, what can I offer her?” Simon sighed desperately, rubbing his brow hard. “I cannot give her love, not as all women deserve—”
“Why not?” Nathan interrupted. “Why could you not give her love, if it were requited?”
“You know why,” Simon groaned. “I swore I would love only Stella.”
Simon looked at Nathan, knowing he would understand even the words he couldn’t say. Nathan tapped his fingers against the leather arm of his chair.
“Marion will make you a fine wife, Simon,” he said quietly. “She is earnest and polite and...perhaps there is a circumstance where a marriage will suit you.”
“What could that be?” Simon questioned.
“Well…you do need an heir, Simon.” Nathan smiled at him. “Marion has always told Eleanor she desired a family.”
“Even a family with a man who can’t love her?” Simon countered.
“All I am saying is that perhaps there is a mutually beneficial arrangement to be made,” Nathan raised his eyebrows. “That’s all. If you are worried that you cannot provide a love-match, perhaps something else is more appropriate.”
“How could I possibly broach that with her?” Simon groaned. “A lady surely expects to be romanced, to be wooed.”
“You have no idea what she expects,” Nathan cut him off quickly, holding up his hand. “No, listen to me: you are letting your thoughts run away with you. It is imperative that you discuss this with Marion herself, rather than making assumptions about her expectations or thoughts.”
“How?” Simon asked bleakly. “We spoke candidly last night, but that was before everything happened. We barely know each other. How we can we even speak of such things?”
“Well.” Nathan smiled. “I think the only way to know one another is to speak of such things.”
Simon leaned back, rubbing his face and tugging his hair. He felt as if he were a bundle of nerves, with invisible eyes upon him. All of society was watching to see if he kept to his pronouncement from last night. Everyone would be watching to see if he discarded Marion in the cold light of day.
He knew he had to talk to her, but he was just afraid. Not because of the awkwardness, though he knew it would be uncomfortable, but because of the flush of almost painful desire he had felt rush through him with Marion in his arms last night. He had thought of her all night, and lost himself in dreams of her red dress and dark, compelling eyes. He had awoken, aroused and dissatisfied and anxious to see her again. But also afraid to. He felt as if he was stuck in quicksand and sinking fast. He had no idea how to move forward.
“How?” he asked Nathan desperately. “How can I talk to her alone without causing more scandal?”
“Well, a chaperone can always be helpful.” Nathan smiled. “What do you say we invite the ladies for a fresh ride before luncheon?”
“You think I should have this conversation on horseback?”
Simon couldn’t imagine it. Nathan grinned.
“You are a more than proficient horseman, my friend. I doubt anything would distract you enough to cause a dismount. Not even organising an engagement with Miss Marion Laurie.”
Simon thought he might be right, except that Nathan didn’t know how Simon’s heart had raced just at the thought of being within arm’s distance of the beautiful Marion once again.
