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I squared my shoulders, high on adrenaline and rage.
“One researcher thought he was being helpful sympathising with me that I couldn’t wear a bikini again. As if that would be my greatest concern coming out of a bushfire alive.”
I laughed with derision. “That photo has been in so many journals and has travelled the world at medical conferences. My compression bandages had just come off before the photo was taken. But that’s being a lab rat in medical trials for you: you get used to the scrutiny and opinions of others. But you don’t even remember me.”
After all my fears Harry would reject me when he saw my scars, and then to see him oblivious and struggling after he’d seen them and tonotbe remembered, that I wasn’t worth a memory however vague from his medical studies, felt so much worse.
My chin trembled. “You don’t even know what I really want to do.”
“Yes, I do. You want to be an enrolled nurse and I know you’re worried about missing deadlines for your nursing diploma but I’ve—”
“No! God, no.” I couldn’t stop. I was watching a train wreck where I was the train, at full throttle, slamming into everything good in my way. “I want to do design, like interior design. I like to sew, painting and building things. I love working with house designs and adore architecture and I think I’d be bloody good at it. I just wanted to present my ideas to Pam and Doc Larcombe to show I could do the refurbishment and that just kept being put off … I just …”
I heaved a breath. And then another. I’d said it out loud. My dream.
“That was my dream I’d told you about at the racetrack. Not nursing. I’d just finished a course in interior design and got my final results. I’d even received an award. I’ve been trying to make it happen but everything keeps getting in my way of making this dream come true.”
I inhaled again. “We’re done.”
“What are you saying?” His voice was a ragged whisper.
“We had fun, Harry. Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”
“But you’re my girlfriend,” Harry spat. “We are in a relationship!”
I stared at him, rigid. “Were we though? You were always going back home. It was a fling, a bit of fun. Nothing more.’
“But I just told you—”
“A good lay makes us say all sorts of things.”
Everything started to go bad when I broke my rule about dating a doctor.
“I shouldn’t have broken my rules. Dating a doctor and colleague was a bad idea from the start. This was a mistake.”
Harry’s face fell. His mouth hung open as he watched me storm out of the room without another word.
As the door slammed closed behind me, I ran, and kept running, and when I finally stopped, I wept.
26
HARRY
Ballydoon Community Group:
Sam posted yesterday 3.34 p.m.:
Step into the boudoir to have your photograph taken. Be the sexy you YOU want to be, or have a photo shoot as a special gift for a loved one. Please email or call me for details.
Cheryl commented: sounds like porn!
Gerald commented: what are you up to, Sammy girl? LOL
Sam commented: OMG it’s not porn! It’s sexy photos!
I wasn’t sure if I was dreaming or awake.
What the fuck had just happened?
