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“The photos. What was Sam thinking—”
“Slam on the breaks, Ryan. It was my idea.”
“Your idea?” he said loudly.
“Keep quiet. Yes, it was. I signed a release form for the calendar people. They did the media release and sent the photo to the paper.”
“The firefighting calendar for next year?”
“Yeah. The very same calendar you emailed to all Shed members.”
Ryan scrubbed his face with both hands. “I’m too sober for this kind of chat.”
“What is your problem with the photos anyway?”
“It just feels like when …” Ryan stopped pacing. “When you were running a little wild before Dad died.”
“What?”
“You were off with boys, and then the incident with Doug. And I thought you were doing things again without thinking.”
“It’s not like that, you know,” I sighed.
“I know. Sam served up my balls on a platter when I challenged her about the photos.”
“I’m glad to hear it. Look, Ryan. I’m not sixteen anymore. I’m an adult and if I want to do something like this, I can. I don’t need your permission.”
“I know but some days it feels like we’re still kids and Dad’s just died and … It’s like since Charlotte was born, I can’t stop myself trying to parent you, too.” He hung his head. “I’ll do better, Stace. Just don’t move out. Please.”
I said nothing.
“We need you, not as free labour for the farm. I mean, we need you. As a family. I’ll make changes.” Ryan looked at the floor. “I won’t be a dickhead about guys you want to date.”
“That’s a given but what I really want is to be included in farm decisions. I want to be involved with everything, not just stuff on the fringe.”
My eyes wandered over the desk and settled on several piles of paper with the bank logo.
“Amanda and I met with the bank in Sydney. It’s their head office for agribusiness matters and lucky us, we qualify as high net worth individuals for the value of the farm.”
I snorted. “High net worth on paper only.”
“Yeah,” he sighed. “Amanda bought us some more time. She was a tiger in the meeting and she restructured our loan payments but it all still comes down to the wool clip.” He looked up. “I promise you’ll be included and consulted on farm matters, Stace.”
“I’m an enrolled nurse now. Got my diploma. But I’m going to start a business doing interior design and decorating.”
“Yeah, Mum said. You should get Amanda to look at your financial stuff.”
I snorted.
Ryan raised an eyebrow. “She’s bloody awesome at numbers. It might give her something to show you how sorry she really is.”
He had a point. “I’ll think about it.”
I was about to leave when Ryan spoke again. “Why did you break up with Harry?”
“Why did you fight with Harry?” I shot back.
“It was over you,” he shrugged.
