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She shook her head. “No. I’m just processing. I had fun. It’s very different from what usually happens for me.”
“What usually happens? Tell me while you pick your bubble bath,” I ordered, pulling her towards the bathroom.
Nicky followed me in her blanket dress, cradling Roscoe.
“Well, the past couple years it’s just been me. I never quite worked up the courage to start dating again after I called off my engagement. At least until Billie showed up. They made it feel so easy.” She picked out some cinnamon bun gel to add to the water. “They’re the first one before today to actually be invested in me having a good time without just waiting for their turn.”
I listened as she picked her way through her past, telling me about the panicked decisions, the stress and regret, the string of mediocrity she’d dated prior to her ex-fiance that had set a standard for normal in her relationships. All the way to the relief she’d felt when he’d gotten on a plane to Tokyo, and she’d made the choice to vanish.
She traced her fingers through the frothing bubbles.
“I don’t know how to be part of something that makes me feel this good,” she confessed. “I’d kind of resolved myself to being a spinster.”
“Come here,” I said softly.
Nicky set Roscoe down and slipped easily into my arms.
I was familiar with this pattern. Hana had dated shit people too, and hadn’t known how to grab onto healthier things. When she and I had met, her walls had been a mile high, but I’d taken the time to love her and show her that she was safe. Nicky wasn’t as walled off as Hana had been, but the fear and insecurities were there, along with the similarities in their past and their craving for quiet and comfort after big feelings. I knew how to deal with that.
“Spinster life should be a choice, not something you resolve yourself to. Let’s get you in the bath to relax.”
“I feel so spoiled. My apartment only has a shower.” She sighed against my skin. “I’m sorry to be so much trouble.”
“You’re no trouble. We express our needs in this house and do our best to help one another anyway that we can. Right now, you need some quiet time, and that's okay. Even when Billie's resting their energy isn’t quiet, but that's my whole vibe.”
“I guess that would be helpful considering you’re a bouncer, right?”
“It comes in handy.” I nodded. “You should come by the club with Billie and Jasper sometime. It might be a little bit out of your element, but no one will hassle you there.”
“I haven’t been to a club since college. I could stop by, though.”
“Do you want me to leave you be or stay?” I asked, turning her towards the bath.
Nicky fidgeted, swaying gently so the blanket swished around her. “If I’m by myself I'll stew.”
“Fair enough. Do you want me in the water or outside of it?”
The question seemed to relax her, which had been my whole intention. Letting people have control of the situation and guide things to their own comfort level was important.
She stared at the bath, then back to me a couple of times. “In the water is fine.”
I didn’t know her as well as I wanted to yet, and I was eager to uncover the mysteries. She was covering a lot of new ground, and I was more than happy to hold her hand while she traversed. I slipped into the water and got myself comfortable in one of the corners.
Nicky's cheeks flamed pink as she dropped the blanket and stepped into the bath across from me. She found one of the lower seats so she was enveloped to the tops of her shoulders, the tips of her hair trailing in the water. Bubbles covered the surface, obscuring everything except for our heads.
“Better?” I asked.
She hesitated, her cheeks going even darker, and sank into the water a bit more.
“Nicky, I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.”
She muttered something I couldn’t make out, so I prodded her with my toes, prompting her to speak again.
“Could I sit by you?” she finally asked, loud enough for me to hear.
“Of course you can.”
She let out a little huff and crossed the bath to sit at my side, still vibrating with nervous energy.
