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“Hana's going to kick our butts at boot camp,” Billie said. “Don’t miss us too much.”
I slipped away from my post and away from the library cameras to kiss each of them goodbye, unable, and unwilling to go the entire night without touching them. They sent me back to work with a pleasant hum of desire in my blood.
I checked briefly on the university students pulling all-nighters first, then got going on the rest of my work: spending the next two hours on programs set up for the morning and re-shelving the stacks of books the university students left behind as they vacated the premises around six-thirty.
I welcomed the arrival of the day staff and gave them a brief rundown of the setup I prepared before I picked up my purse and headed down the stairs to go home. I wassolooking forward to my bed and having a good cuddle with Spud.
The parking lot was pretty empty, but there were a few staff vehicles for those coming on to start their day. I froze on the sidewalk in front of the main doors. A black sedan was parked way too close to my car with only inches to spare, blocking my way into the vehicle. My heart leapt when the driver side door of the sedan opened, and Alphonse stepped out.
I was rooted to the spot, torn between telling him to move so I could leave and retreating into the building.
“Is this where we’re at, Nicky? You’re back to ignoring me? I send you flowers and I get two days of silence in return.”
“I didn’t work this weekend,” I defended.
He narrowed his eyes. “Then where are the flowers now? They wereexpensive.”
I swallowed hard and pressed my lips together, unwilling to tell him that I had given them away.
“Little liar.” He sighed. “Since when do you dislike flowers?” Alphonse pinched the bridge of his nose.
I fought the urge to shrink and was only mildly successful, wrapping my arms over my stomach. “I should get home. Can you please move your car?”
“I can give you a ride. You must be tired after your shift.”
I squeezed my lips shut again and took a steadying breath, my fingers digging into my ribs to ground myself. “Please move your car.”
“You’re doing that thing again,” he said, with another sigh, as he crossed the distance between us.
“What thing?”
“When you get all jittery and act like you’re afraid. I don’t understand you, Nicky. When have Ieverhurt you? I send you flowers, I check in on you, I offer to drive you home from work, and none of it is appreciated.”
Anxiety clawed its way into my throat and cut off any words I might’ve thought to say. I had no idea how to respond. Why couldn’t I have been selfish and asked Billie and Tony to stay so they would’ve been here?.
Alphonse reached toward me, and it broke through my freeze response, sending me stumbling backwards so his fingertips met only air.
“I can’t deal with you being like this right now.” Alphonse huffed. “Next time we talk I hope you’ll be more respectful.”
He climbed back into his car and slammed the door shut, tearing out of the parking lot so fast I was surprised his tires didn’t burst.
My hands shook as I fished out my keys and hit the unlock button. I slipped into the driver seat and slammed my fingers down onto the lock button on the door.
Deep breaths.
I was fine. Just…overreacting.
Hot tears slipped over my cheeks, and I pushed down the swell of nausea, gripping the steering wheel like it was a lifeline. I waited in the parking lot for almost an hour, building up the courage to drive home, half worried that he was waiting to find out where I had moved to. The last thing I wanted was him hanging out around my apartment.
I drove slowly, gaze constantly darting to the rearview mirror as if Alphonse was some sort of spy that might be tailing me.
Spud howled at me when I finally got inside. I deadbolted the door and scooped him into a cuddle to settle myself, burying my face against his fur until the sharpest edge of my nerves was worn smooth. I got Spud his dinner, stripped down, and showered, tying my wet hair into a braid before I took Spud to bed, pushing the rest of the world away.
My dreams twisted between the loving embrace of the pack and Alphonse's cold grip.
I woke sweating, my apartment feeling so lonely after spending the weekend with warm bodies whenever I needed a cuddle. Spud made a difference, but he wasn’t capable of talking me down.
I grabbed my phone before I could talk myself out of it, hitting the call button on Tony’s contact.
