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Hopefully, when she woke fully, she would be more ready to talk.
Her fingers curling into my shirt brought me back into focus.
“Alphonse sent me flowers,” she said at last.
I held still and silent, waiting for her to continue.
“Lilies,” she added. “Even if I’d wanted them, I couldn’t bring them home. They’re so dangerous for cats. HeknowsI have Spud. Me adopting him was part of the last big fight Alphonse and I had.”
I stroked her hair and got my purr rumbling for her.
“He was waiting for me when I finished work.”
I tensed instantly. “What?”
“In the lot, next to my car.” She continued on, telling me about the altercation, her body trembling in my grasp as she spoke. “I don’t…I can’t go back to that. I—” her voice broke off as she started crying.
“Hey, it's okay. You’re safe here.” I cradled her, settling her slowly, waiting as she exhausted her tears, until she was hiccuping and sniffling in my arms.
“I didn’t realize how miserable I used to be,” she said quietly. “Not that long ago I might’ve gone back, might’ve let him talk me into it because…maybe I had remembered it all wrong. Maybe it wasn’t that bad. But this whole last week is like a spotlight. I used to be so scared, and I didn’t realize until I didn’t feel that way anymore. I’m probably not making any sense.”
“You’re making perfect sense, baby girl.” I hugged her gently. “I’m so sorry that you went through what you did with him, and I’m glad that we could help you see it, even if that realization sucks.”
“Do you know what my life was like before I met you?”
“I can only guess, but I’d like you to tell me.”
Nicky heaved a sigh, her fingers curling more tightly in my shirt. “I worked, I came home, and I spent my evenings with Spud. The only thing different in my week was days off, where the whole thing was spent with Spud, or I visited my family. The wedding planning for my brother helped with the monotony, and Allie’s friends brought me into their group, but that took some time. I lost pretty much every friend I had in the years I was with Alphonse, and I was so depressed when I finally left that I didn’t have it in me to try to make new ones. By the time I felt like I had woken up from everything, it had been so long that I couldn’t work up the courage to reach out to the people I had used to love. And the pack just… You all make me feel like I’m alive again instead of just existing, and that honestly scares the shit out of me.”
I held her tighter. I bet saying those words out loud to me was terrifying, too.
“Nicky, I don’t know what the future holds, and, frankly, I don’t care that it's only been a week. You’ve brought your own brand of light to us and I’m glad that you were brave enough to take a chance.”
“Billie makes it pretty difficult to refuse.” She laughed softly and turned her face into my chest.
“That they do.” I traced patterns over her back to centre us both in the moment. “What do you want to do about Alphonse?”
“I don’t know. Do Ihaveto do something?”
“That part is up to you, but I’m not a huge fan of his behaviour thus far. In case you hadn’t noticed, I’ve gotten a little bit protective of you.”
Nicky puffed out a breath and somehow managed to snuggle even closer. “I may have noticed. I just feel like such a mess and I hate dumping that on anyone.”
“Everyone needs a little extra support sometimes. I’m sure, if you stick around, the opportunity for you to support one of the pack will pop up.”
“I hope so. Not that I want anyone to be in distress, but I hope that I can be half as wonderful to the pack as you’ve all been to me.” She toyed with the tip of a loc that hung over my shoulder. “Tell me a story. I need a distraction, and I want to get to know you better.”
I sifted through a few of the options in my head. “My whole family has always had the travel bug. I was carted all over the world by my parents and all over the country with my aunt’s pack on the back of a motorcycle. It was amazing in a lot of ways, but it also really made me crave roots.”
“Really?!” Nicky perked up. “Where was your favourite?”
“That’s a bit like asking me to choose a favourite star in the sky.” I laughed, trailing my fingertips down her arm. “Cambodia was incredible, so was Mongolia, Chile, Botswana, and Iceland. Honestly, there’s something awe-inspiring everywhere that we went.” I told her about climbing Kilimanjaro, swimming at the Great Barrier Reef, seeing the countless castles of Europe and the temples throughout Asia. She absorbed every word with rapt attention.
“How did you manage school with all of that travel?”
“My dad was a teacher and Mom was a doctor before they both retired. He handled my education on the road, and we just returned to the states for me to take the standardized tests. While we were globetrotting, Mom would always dip in at clinics wherever she was needed, and we’d stay in spots for a while so it was sort of like having a hundred different homes.”
“Did you see much of North America during all of that?” Nicky asked.
