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“We cannot give them the satisfaction of making their gossip true when everything on this paper is false!”
Her father was looking sad now, his face corrugated with worry. “Do not make this any harder than it already is.”
The door opened, and the familiar scent of orchids calmed Helen. It signaled the arrival of her best friend, Kate Williams. Helen rushed to her feet, embracing her best friend.
“I saw the paper this morning, Helen. My mother forbids me from stepping into your house, saying you will afflict me with the propensity for scandal.” Helen smiled a bit at the joke, her eyes brightening for an instant. Then the cloud of worry settled over her again, filling her with so much fear that she wanted to believe everything was a dream.
“Even if I so much as look in your direction, Mother says I will be tainted even much more than I have been already.”
Kate and Helen burst into tears, embracing each other so tightly that Helen did not want to let go. She wanted to remain in society, to tell thetonthat she was not afraid to show her face in public. To prove that her reputation was still intact and none of it was her fault.
“I am sorry for causing you trouble and not heeding your warnings,” Helen cried the words, sniffling. “I am really sorry.”
“Whatever happened is not your fault, Helen. You would not have intentionally besmirched your family name. But I cannot see you for now. At least, not until everything settles.”
“Going to the country? Not showing my face in society? How am I supposed to live like this?”
“Helen,” Kate said, squeezing her best friend’s hand in an encouraging manner. “Everything will be fine. You just have to wait for the dust to settle.”
“Days on end without my best friend?” Helen sniffled. “Who will I talk to about literature and my views on the sculptures in the gallery?”
“I will miss you too, Helen. I imagine that I will be forced to go through almost the rest of the Season without you. How boring it must be.”
They laughed together, wrapping themselves into an embrace. Soon, Kate had to leave, and the echoes of her slippers broke Helen’s heart as she made up her mind. Staying in London would not do her any good. It would only destroy Kate’s reputation and give room for idle gossip. And her best friend deserved much more. If enduring Aunt Gertrude’s snide remarks and nasty comments would better her friend’s chances of engagement, Helen would take it.
“I will go to the country,” she agreed hoarsely with a tone of finality in her voice. She tried to put on a smile but failed as the tears came crashing again.
ChapterEight
As Helen sat on the bed to unpack her dresses and books, she felt the web of her situation wrap around her even more tightly. She was in her aunt’s cottage in the country, with no one to talk to except the enormous trees in the orchard and the gluttonous carp in the pond.
Her eyes dimmed as she stroked the spine ofSilent Dreams’last issue. A frown tangled her brows as she set the books apart, separating them from her petticoats and frocks. Helen wished women held more power in the London society, that her words might even carry some weight. But everything she said was dismissed, and the words of the gossip column triumphed.
“I can endure that,” she whispered to herself, turning it into a mantra.
Returning to the bed, she opened her favorite book again to read the exciting tales of Jack Whitticombe and the fun he had on his travels around London. Soon enough, Helen found such solace and excitement in the words that it drowned out everything. It filled her with the hope that she would return to London once again in time for her to find a match and make her father happy.
“Damn you, impudent girl!” Aunt Gertrude’s voice boomed through the room, reverberating on the orange walls. “You are reading those books again!”
Helen jumped from the sudden break in silence, the book falling into her lap. The innate fear she had of her aunt traveled down her spine in splintering waves. She stared at her aunt, swallowing the retort that her mind already supplied.
“Get your devilish eyes off me! Do you not fear for your father’s health with the shame you have brought to this family?”
Helen felt her heart race, beating faster than she could count. “Is something wrong with my father?”
“He cannot even show his face among thetonbecause of the havoc you brought on the family with your sinful actions. How dare you dash his hopes to pieces?”
“I never intended to take away his joy,” Helen replied, feeling the tears well up behind her eyes. “Someone attacked me in the garden. I ran, but not before I was disheveled.”
Aunt Gertrude paced around the room, fuming. “Such imaginative thinking. But it is all lies, I tell you. Lies you learned from those books you read!”
“I do not lie to save myself,” Helen pleaded. “I was attacked by a man. It was so dark that I did not have the chance to see his face.”
“You should be ashamed, Helen. Straying from the way of the Lord with that book in your lap. The words poison your mind, leading you to commit such atrocities.”
Helen grimaced. “The books did nothing! They are just mere indulgences to pass the time.”
The look on her aunt’s face made Helen quake. “Your mother would be ashamed of you! Sitting in her grave and weeping for everything you have done!”
