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8
DELANEY
Ihave no idea how to respond to him, but of course my body is wired and ready to go. My heart is racing, hammering in my chest at just his simple admission. It feels like I swallowed a lit match, my stomach burning with desire as the feeling moves lower until it settles itself between my legs.
It’s the alcohol. He doesn’t mean what he says and as much as I want to give in and kiss him, I know I can’t. Things between us are weird. They have been since our argument and now the whole being trapped here in this remote cabin has him lonely and bored and if we’re being honest here, horny. I’m there too, especially after the bourbon.
“We’ve been here before,” I whisper back, my fingers absentmindedly playing with his hair. “It doesn’t end well.”
He’s staring up at me, his blue eyes shining in the glowing light of the fire. He looks gorgeous and dangerous and perfect, like he’s bound to break my heart.
I want to lean down and press my lips to his, softly, gently, reminding myself what it’s like to feel his mouth against mine. The warmth of the fire surrounds us, encouraging me and wanting to rekindle what we once had, even if it’s just for tonight. But I know I can’t. I can’t be trapped here with him, letting him make his way into my heart again, only to have it all come crashing down when he stops being this beautiful dream.
“But what if this time it does end well?” he asks, leaning into my touch even more as my fingers trace the outline of his lips. “Delaney…”
My name is said with such promise, such need that I want to believe him. I want to believe we can find a way to be together and not have it end with one of us upset. He’s hiding too much still. There’s more to him than his admittance to liking me. That isn’t his secret. It’s bigger than that and it’s what is standing between us being together.
“Alex, you’re drunk.”
“I am and so are you, which could make it way more fun.” I watch his mouth, his tongue slipping out and wetting his lips. “You can tell me all your secrets,” he murmurs, and it’s hard to not hear the seduction in his voice, not to want him in a way that crosses the line I swore I wouldn’t cross again.
“Secrets are what ruined it all.”
“Not those kinds of secrets, Laney,” he slurs, a silly smile on his face. His hand slips under my shirt, my bare skin instantly reacting to his touch, a feeling of warmth running up my spine. “The dirty kind.” He chuckles, and I brace myself as his fingers trail up my ribs, moving higher until his hand palms my breast.
Why is he so hard to say no to?
Why does my body want him so badly? When he’s like this, sweet and playful and it’s just us, everything is so fucking perfect that I believe for a second that we can be everything to each other. That he can be the guy who makes me forget that I’ve been hurt.
I moan out loud as his fingers find my nipple and I push into his hand, needing more, wanting more from him, but knowing it’s wrong. We’re drunk and this isn’t the way we should be doing this with everything left unsaid and unresolved.
Or am I just being stupid?
I love no strings attached sex. I love the recklessness of just satisfying an itch and given I don’t have any other options to turn to, I could just say fuck it and literally fuck Alex. The problem is, I’m going to catch feelings. Hell, I’ve already caught feelings and it’s all Alex’s fault. It’s now me trying to fight them off and that seems almost impossible.
“Alex,” I whisper, leaning down to brush my lips across his cheek, stopping at his ear, “not tonight.” My heart shatters in my chest at my words, instantly regretting turning him down, but I know it’s the right call.
We can’t keep doing this, the arguing and this love-hate thing and then sleeping together. It’s a vicious cycle, but we seem to love it. And there was a point when I would have said I loved Alex Cunningham, and I’m lying if I think I can shut down those feelings that easily. That’s really what’s keeping me from sleeping with him right now. He has my heart in his hands and I’m so worried if I let this go further, he’s going to wind up crushing it.
“You’re killing me, Laney,” Alex moans, rolling off my lap, but he’s still smiling, acting like me turning him down didn’t wound his ego just a little.
I stand up, tossing a few more logs onto the fire and poking at it with a stick to get it burning a little more. I never thought I’d need to know how to keep a fire going. The only fireplaces I’ve been around have been lit for me at a restaurant or a bar and the one in mine and Zoey’s condo is one of those remote control deals.
I stumble a little as I try to step over Alex’s body all strewn across the mattress. Giggling at my drunken clumsiness, Alex grabs my leg, pulling me down on top of him.
“That was a cheap move,” I say laughing, the dizziness of the alcohol taking full effect. We both needed this, a way to forget our current situation.
“Just cuddle with me, Laney,” Alex whines playfully, his arms wrapping around me as I slide next to him, his body spooning around mine.
“Has anyone ever told you that you are needy when you’re drunk?” I turn in his arms, facing him now and loving the security that the weight of his body brings.
“Never because I’m not like this with anyone but you.”
“You’re feeling very honest tonight, huh, Alex?” His fingers slide under my shirt again, pinching my side and making me squirm, letting out a giggle.
“Why is your skin so soft and why do you smell so good?” He pushes his nose into the crook of my neck, nuzzling sweetly.
“Now I know you’re trying too hard to get in my pants. I’ve had the same underwear on for the last two days. I’m certain I smell.”
