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She scowls up at me and it looks so fucking adorable I can’t help but laugh.
“God, you so were, weren’t you?” I tease.
She stamps her foot, trying to free herself from my hold. I don’t let her, tightening my arms as I keep her pressed against me.
“Well, who else would chop me wood and make me tea and keep me warm at night,” she says, trying to sound annoyed.
Laughing, I can’t resist leaning in and kissing the end of her nose. “Don’t you worry, Laney. I’m not going anywhere.” Then I slide a hand down to her ass, slapping it lightly before letting her go.
She steps back and I don’t miss the way her cheeks flush and her breathing gets a little ragged. It’s nice to know I can still have this effect on her, even if it’s taking monumental amounts of self-control not to try and take things further.
I want to, badly, but I also don’t want to fuck things up between us again. Because as much as the whole thought of her and me being a thing, a couple, is completely foreign to me, the more time I spend with her, the more I’m realizing that it’s exactly what Idowant.
In the days after her injury and before I fucked things up when she had to retrain me, I can honestly say, that’s the happiest I’ve ever been. And while it still both surprised and scared the shit out of me, the thought of getting attached to someone I might lose, I realize now that Delaney is so worth the risk.
Having had and lost her once, I can categorically say that is not something I want to go through again. So this time, I’m going to win her back and I’m going to do it properly, so I never have to lose her again.
“Okay, that’s probably enough,” I say, grabbing the collected pine needles and taking them over to the stove. “We’ll let this stew for a bit and then it’s game time.”
Delaney’s shaking her head, a small smile on her face as she says, “So how long were you a boy scout for?”
Chuckling, I say, “A while. I started when I was pretty young.”
She raises a brow. “So like, are you still one now?”
“No,” I reply with a laugh, shaking my head. “I mean I stopped when I was maybe fifteen or so, right after my—”
I stop, the words caught on the lump that suddenly forms in my throat. I can’t believe I almost said them out loud.
“Right after what?” she asks, her teasing tone gone and replaced with something far more serious.
I don’t say anything, don’t even look at her as I stare at the pine needles floating in the pot of boiling water, their sweet aroma slowly filling the cabin.
“Alex,” she prompts, her hand on my arm.
I glance down at her, see the look of concern on her face. Swallowing hard, I force myself to answer even though it still hurts to say the words out loud. “Right after my mom died.”
Delaney lets go of my arm, slipping hers around my waist and pulling me into a hug. I drape mine around her shoulders and we stand in silence together in front of the fire. I’m sure she can feel my heart pounding inside my chest, where her head is resting, but she doesn’t say anything and I’m grateful.
Talking about what happened to my mom and then what happened after is still painful for me. As weird as it sounds and as stupid as it sometimes feels, it was a turning point in my life that has pretty much shaped everything I’ve done since then. It’s what ruined my relationship with my dad and it’s also what made me the person I am today.
An asshole.
But then, she already knows I’m one of those.
“I think this tea might be ready,” I eventually say.
She loosens her arms from around my waist, pressing up on her toes to brush her lips against mine. “I’m sorry,” she whispers, not saying anything more.
I nod, letting her go before grabbing two mugs and dunking them in the pot. I hold one out to her and watch as she holds it up to her nose, inhaling deeply.
“It smells nice,” she says, smiling. “Like winter and you.”
“Me?” I ask, surprised.
She gives me a shy smile. “Yeah, I always thought you smelled like pine and fresh snow. It’s nice, I like it.”
Her comment makes me laugh. “Maybe that’s just the smell of my charm and charisma?”
