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I laugh, grateful for the subject change. “Fuck yes,” I say, sitting up. “And hey, maybe we might hallucinate ourselves out of this place.”
She laughs as she stands, offering me a hand. Smiling, I slide mine into hers, letting her pull me up. She doesn’t let go right away and I know it’s her way of checking I’m okay, of letting me know she’s here if I want to talk more.
Lifting our hands to my mouth, I press a kiss to the back of hers. “Come on, let’s do this. I’ll even teach you some Scout shit too.”
12
DELANEY
Alex looks over at the table where there’s a small pile of bright orange mushrooms or at least that’s what Alex said they are. He looks back over at me, stepping to the side he says, “I think we might need some more witches’ butter, that isn’t very much.”
He walks back over to where our coats are hanging and slips his back on, along with the hunting boots and I follow him, doing the same.
“Scout Leader Alex, you going to teach me how to forage?” I ask, teasing him, but enjoying that he has this unusual skill. I would have no idea what is edible in these woods. It would be likeThe Hunger Gameswith me eating the poisonous berries by accident.
“I sure am. Come on,” he says, swinging an arm at me and guiding me out the door.
We step outside into the coldness once again with Alex moving to the side of the house. He begins to dig around under the exposed logs, finding a few more small piles of the bright orange fungus.
Holding out his hand, I take them from his palm, looking them over and then giving them a sniff. I’m still not sure this shit is edible, but he did eat some and he’s still standing. Not like we have tons of options anyway. Plain boiled noodles with salt has become our staple. It might be nice to spice it up with these mushrooms.
I’m shivering, my body almost instantly cold as soon as we stepped out here. I don’t think I fully warmed up from our last romp out here. The pine needle tea did help and it beat drinking water since that’s all we’ve had since being trapped out here.
“Go on in, Laney,” Alex says, shooing me away with another small pile of mushrooms. “I’ll be there in a second. Why don’t you boil some more water?”
I head inside and Alex hangs back, foraging, as he calls it, but I’m not all that confident in his ability to forage more than what he’s found. It’s the dead of winter. There is very little within a few steps of the cabin, and I actually would prefer he doesn’t wander in the wilderness out here. We have no idea what could be living out here. At night we hear coyotes howling and we both know these woods are full of black bears. The last thing we need is to happen upon either.
The fact that he thinks he can find any more of those mushrooms buried under the mounds and mounds of snow is hilarious to me, but he’s helping and that’s all that really matters. And so I feel like I’m helping, I fill several pots with snow, setting two of them over the fire.
I begin poking around at the logs that are beginning to lose interest in burning. All of this has become part of our routine: fill pots with snow and boil them, poke the fire to get oxygen under it, add more logs. I had no idea I would ever become this good at keeping a fire going.
Zoey and I used to joke that we would never survive on TV shows likeNaked and AfraidorSurvivor. I once asked her how long she thought she would last and she didn’t even hesitate for a second, replying with a resounding answer of thirty minutes. She then went on to add that she didn’t even know how to find pizza in the wild.
I laugh a little to myself thinking about that conversation, but with the humor comes sadness. I miss the hell out of Zoey and I’m sure she’s terrified, probably worried sick, begging people to go out and look for Alex and me. I would even venture to guess that she’s out looking for us, too.
I scan the cabin, grateful that Alex and I have shelter and strangely enough, food, even if it is expired. We have clean water and heat, and here I am crying about missing Zoey.
We’re not going to die out here, or at least that’s what I keep telling myself in the hopes that I eventually believe it. It’s like my mantra now, repeating it in my head on a daily basis.
What happens when the snow melts? There will be no more fresh water, even if we are filling the water bottles from Alex’s backpack with anything extra we have. We also found a pitcher in one of the cabinets and we have been using that too, but it would never be enough to sustain us for more than a day or two.
I hate that all these negative thoughts creep into my head, all these what-if scenarios playing out and making my anxiety skyrocket. We’re okay, we really are and once this snow stops, a rescue crew will find us. This isn’t permanent, and I will see Zoey again, and I’ll sleep in my bed and have running water, and a hot shower.
Alex startles me, whistling as he comes through the door. His arms are full of more branches from a pine tree and on top is a pile of more of the bright orange mushrooms. Nothing in nature is that color. Okay, maybe a peel on an orange is, but I know that is edible. Damn, he really is good at foraging, finding way more of those mushrooms than I would have expected.
“You okay?” Alex asks, setting everything down on the table. “You looked like you might have been crying again.”
I take in a deep breath, wiping my fingers under my eyes. “I was just thinking about Zoey. I just miss her.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. I’ve spent the last four years with Max, and it feels weird not to see him every day. I’m trying to pretend like we’re on some crazy ass vacation.”
I chuckle a little, the laugh coming out soft and breathy, but my heart aches at the thought of this being some kind of crazy vacation. If it were, I would definitely be here with Zoey.
“Come here,” Alex says and it’s starting to feel like he knows when I need him, realizing the closeness of his body calms me.
He holds open his arms and I walk willingly into them, inhaling as I rest my cheek against his chest.
“Don’t breathe in too deeply,” Alex says, his arms wrapping around me and giving me a squeeze. “Remember, I haven’t had a real shower in like a week now.”
