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Her ability to remain cool that’d impressed Sam so much was on extremely thin ice at the moment. For the sake of possible eavesdropping little ears, she took a breath and held herself in check. “I refuse to feel guilty about a situation you created.”
“That’s not an answer to my question.” The calmness in his tone rivaled hers, but the tightly drawn lines of his mouth and brow revealed the depth of his stress.
Time to put an end to this pointless debate. She’d known how the puppy story would play out from the moment it began. “The dog can stay. You know I would never hurt Lennox that way. Or a defenseless animal. Or you, for that matter,” she said, leaning forward to stab his chest with her index finger.
He caught her hand, enveloping it. “I know, and I appreciate it. All of it. And I promise not to heap all the responsibility onto your plate.”
“Thank you.” The urge to reclaim her hand grew with each passing second. Especially with Tim staring into her eyes and rubbing circles on her skin with the pad of his thumb. Maybe she was reading too much into the gesture and his soulful gaze. God, she hoped so.
“I’ll spend more time here and help with the extra duties.” He used their joined hands to draw her into his personal space. “This could be a sign.”
Conversation redirection required, stat. “A sign that I’d better start watching where I step in the backyard.”
His smile held more affection than amusement. “A sign for us, as a family and as a couple. Maybe it’s time we merge our parallel lines into one.”
“Parallel lines never merge. I’d better take over helping with Lennox’s geometry homework.”
“I’m not joking.”
“Which is exactly why I am.” She withdrew her hand and stepped back. Since keeping it light hadn’t worked, she’d have to be direct. “I’m dating somebody. I don’t expect it to last forever, but it’s an exclusive relationship and I’m happy.”
“You never expect it to last when you’re dating. I think the reason for that is obvious.” He closed the distance between them again, this time collecting both her hands. “Deep down, you’re waiting for our time to come back around.”
She didn’t want to hurt him. Not now and not ever. But she wouldn’t lie or lead him on, either. Those would be far more hurtful in the long run.
Shaking her head, she backed out of their too-close stance. “I love you and I always will, but not in a passionate,in-loveway. If I’m going to be in a romantic relationship, I want that element.”
“We know how to please each other in the bedroom, Leigh. Sex was never a problem for us.”
“I know, but I’m not just talking about the mechanics of good sex. That gets the job done, but it’s not passion.”
“Then what is?”
Easy answer, this one, because she’d experienced it last night. And every other night this week, with Sam. “Passion is a consuming need to get as close to somebody as possible. It’s every cell in your body coming alive because of proximity, or sometimes without proximity. It’s like an unquenchable thirst with the most delicious drink you’ve ever tasted.”
Unflappable as always, he merely nodded, despite the fact that she’d essentially told him how shedidn’tfeel about him. “And being in love, instead of loving somebody?”
“It’s the difference between having a full heart and having your heart trying to beat its way out of your chest to get to that person.”
“I see.”
She should’ve told him she couldn’t define the things their relationship lacked. Or dialed back her description to a less vivid level. Instead, she’d done exactly what she’d wanted to avoid. She’d hurt him. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’ve always wondered what was holding you back from us, and now I know.”
“Tim—”
He waved her off when she moved toward him. “No condolence hugs or kind words required. I’m disappointed, but also relieved to know where I stand.”
“If I’ve unintentionally misled you all this time, I’m sorry. I swear I didn’t mean to.”
“No, you’re in the clear. My false hope was entirely self-generated.”
“Oh, Tim.” She swept his hands aside and wrapped her arms around his waist. “This isn’t a condolence hug, by the way. It’s an I-care-about-you hug. Don’t even think about denying me these.”
He laughed his signature short laugh and returned the hug. “Nothing has changed between us. We’re good.”
“Promise?”
