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As Jennings walked away, Sage’s gaze trailed after him. He couldn’t be sure, but it seemed as if she’d wanted a little more time in Jennings’s company. It endeared her to him since he considered Jennings North one of the most compassionate and wise people he’d ever known. He always included him in his prayers in the hope he might find some measure of peace.
“He seems like a sweetheart, but his eyes are full of shadows,” Sage observed.
“Yeah, that about sums it up. He’s never moved past Lily’s abduction. He hasn’t been the same since that terrible night,” Hank explained. “I think he deals with a lot of guilt because of the success of the chocolate company. He wonders if it made his family a target.”
Sage gazed at him with mournful eyes. “It’s hard to deal with such an inexplicable loss. It’s bad enough when someone you love passes away, but to have someone taken away from you like that without warning is catastrophic.”
Hank seized the moment. It was the perfect time to offer Sage his support and compassion. “I should have said something before tonight, but I wasn’t sure how to bring it up. I know why you’re here in Owl Creek, Sage.”
Chapter Ten
Suddenly it felt as if all the air had whooshed out of her lungs. Her worst fear had come true.
Hank knew she was Lily North! She broke out in a sweat despite the cold chill in the air. Panic began to rise up inside her. How in the world was she going to justify her actions? There was no way she could make him understand, especially after he’d just told her about Theresa’s grand deception. He probably would consider her to be a fraud. The very thought of it made her knees go weak.
Please, Lord. Help me make it clear to Hank why I’m here in Owl Creek.
“I—I can explain,” she began. “I came here seeking answers.”
Hank held up his hand. “You don’t owe anyone an explanation.” Hank shifted from one foot to the other. “Trudy told me about your mother’s passing. I’m so sorry. Losing a parent is incredibly painful. Of course you needed some time to process it. You wanted to get off the grid so you could grieve the loss.”
Her heart landed with a thud in her belly. Relief coursed through her. Hank didn’t know anything about her link to the Norths. Her guilty conscience had risen to the surface and she’d panicked. She sucked in a fortifying breath. Her secret hadn’t been exposed after all.
“Thank you,” Sage murmured. “It’s hard to believe she’s really gone. She’d been sick for a while, but death is so final. There are so many things I wish I could ask her. So many unanswered questions.”
“Were the two of you close?” Hank asked.
The question was a loaded one. Sage wasn’t sure she could ever aptly describe the relationship between them. On some days it had felt as if her mother was her best friend while at other times they would argue over the slightest thing. She now believed Jane had carried around a lot of guilt with her because of the kidnapping. Her culpability had trickled down and affected their rapport.
“Not particularly,” she answered. “We weren’t at a good place when she died. To be honest, more times than not we were at odds.” She shivered, then wrapped her arms around her middle. “We were very different.”
“Any siblings to lean on?”
“No, Hank. I’m an only child, which makes the grieving even more difficult. It’s just me, Dad and Aunt Cathy. He was such a devoted husband to my mother. This has really hit him hard.”
“I know a little about that. I was only a little kid when my dad passed, but I remember my mother’s grief felt like a tidal wave capable of pulling us under. Ultimately, his death ended up bonding us together. It was the two of us against the world until Piper and my stepdad Jack came along.”
“You and Trudy have a great relationship. I don’t think my Mom and I ever had that type of connection. The truth is, I never really understood her. She was very mercurial—her moods were all over the place. I suspect she had a mental illness, but it wasn’t something ever discussed in our household.” She sighed. “As a child it frightened me because I never knew what was coming around the bend. But in her own way she loved me fiercely. It was a complex situation, to say the least.”
“That must have been really hard for all of you,” he murmured softly. “Maybe she was afraid to be completely honest with you out of a fear of rejection. A lot of people hide their struggles due to the stigma.”
“I see that now, but it made things difficult between us, particularly when I was a teenager. There were a lot of things left unspoken between us when she passed.” She couldn’t voice it to Hank, but she desperately wanted to know why her mother had abducted her. How could she have lived out her days knowing she’d committed such a terrible act?
Ever since her mother’s death, Sage had been wondering why she hadn’t broken down and cried. Perhaps it had been the shock of her mother’s deathbed confession. She’d been straddling a line between grief and disbelief, but now, it felt as if all of her nerve endings were on fire. Letting out a strangled sob, Sage covered her face with her hands. At long last, all the emotions she’d been bottling up inside were coming to the surface.
“I’m so sorry, Sage. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” She felt Hank’s strong arms encircling her. He pulled her toward him and she wept against his chest. The scent of pine filled her nostrils and she inhaled deeply. Hank smelled like the great Alaskan outdoors. His embrace made her feel safe and secure. She wanted to hold on to him and never let go. Perhaps then all of the pain would dissipate.
“It’s not your fault. I’m way overdue. I’ve been holding in a lot of these emotions and trying to shoulder my way through the grief.” She wiped away her tears and sniffled. “It just hurts so much knowing we’ll never get the opportunity to truly clear the air.”
“But you loved each other. That’s the important thing.” He was patting her back and speaking to her in a comforting tone.
Hank was right. Even though he didn’t know about her mother’s heinous actions, his words still applied. No matter what her mother had done, she’d loved her. And she always would. Nothing could truly ever change that fact. She might never forgive her for altering the course of her life and stealing her from her rightful family, but she couldn’t erase the love she’d always nurtured in her heart for her.
Sage ducked her head down and nodded. “I loved her very much. And I miss her.” She breathed in the cold air through her nose, giving herself a little jolt. “Sometimes it shocks me to realize I can’t just pick up the phone and call her. It’s like there’s this hole in my heart where she used to be. And even though things were far from perfect between us, she was still my mother.”
“God only gives us one mother,” Hank said. His eyes radiated kindness.
Sage felt her lips tremble. His words were incredibly ironic. He had no idea that life had given her two mothers. One had been robbed of the opportunity to raise her while the other one had been a very flawed mother with an explosive secret in her past. She didn’t want to be anything like the woman who had raised her, yet here she stood incapable of being open and honest with Hank.
