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Child. Hearing that single word served as a kick in the gut. She had often wondered if she was a mother. If she was being completely honest with herself, she had known deep down in her soul that she was somebody’s mama. She remembered bits and pieces. Nothing more than fragments.
The smell of talcum powder. Cradling a newborn in her arms. Singing a soothing lullaby. A tuft of dark hair.
She sank back down into the chair, overwhelmed by the knowledge that Aidan was her son. “How old is he?” she asked, her voice a notch above a whisper. It felt strange asking questions about her own child. But she wanted to know. She needed answers.
“He’ll be five in a few weeks,” Liam said. A hint of a smile played around his lips.
“Five,” she said with a nod. “That’s a great age.” Why had she just blurted that out? What did she know about five-year-olds?
“He’s a wonderful boy. You’d be proud of him,” Liam said. “You two used to be inseparable.”
Ruby had no idea what to say to that. It hurt terribly to know that she couldn’t remember precious moments with her own flesh and blood. A child she had carried in her womb and given birth to and nurtured. A boy who had been emotionally tied to her. Pain unlike any she’d ever felt before ricocheted through her. She had felt lost ever since she’d woken up in Colorado with no memories of who she was or where she belonged. Although she hadn’t thought it possible to feel more agony, finding out about her son and husband filled her with a sense of yearning to fill all the holes in her memory.
They must have loved her, and in return, she must have loved them back.
Lord, please help me. I’ve been stumbling around in the dark for so long. But now a big bright light is being shined on my past and yet I feel nothing but confusion. I’m still uncertain about who I am and where I’m going. I’m a mother and a wife, but I’m not sure I know how to be either of those things.
Liam shoved his hand through his hair. He let out a huff of air and exchanged a look filled with hidden meaning with the sheriff. “Aidan. I have to bring you to see him, Ruby. He prays for you every night.”
Ruby raised her hand to her trembling lips. Just thinking about a little boy uttering prayers for her was enough to make her come undone. He’s not just any little boy, her voice buzzed in her head. He’s your son. Your flesh and blood. That raised the stakes even higher.
She shook her head as a tidal wave of emotions rolled over her. Trudy and Ezra had been concerned about this very thing happening. They had wanted to make the trip with her, but after two years of being under their wing, she had needed to do something without their sheltering arms.
But everything was rushing at her now, like a freight train at maximum speed. Suddenly she started taking rapid breaths of air. It felt like she couldn’t breathe. She folded her arms around her stomach and began deeply breathing in and out.
“Ruby! Are you all right?” Liam took the final few steps toward her, quickly swallowing up the distance between them. She felt his hands touching her. There was something comforting about his hands resting on her shoulders. It was the oddest thing, since he was technically a stranger to her, and she always felt wary of people she didn’t know.
“It might be a good idea to give her some space,” Boone said to Liam. “This could be very overwhelming for her,” he explained, casting Ruby a concerned glance.
With a begrudging look on his face, Liam took a few steps back. Boone followed suit.
“If you’re not feeling well, I can get you something to drink or take you to my clinic,” Liam said. “I’m a doctor here in town.”
Liam was a doctor? She shouldn’t be surprised by the news. He exuded a kind and authoritative air. It wasn’t hard to imagine him treating patients or calming a distraught child who needed shots. Ruby didn’t know whether there was a part of her that was remembering something from the past or whether it was strictly her imagination, but a picture of Liam outfitted in a white lab coat, a stethoscope hanging around his neck, flashed before her eyes.
“I’m fine,” Ruby said. “I think everything is just catching up to me.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “The plane ride. Being back here. I know you’re saying this is where I’m from, but I feel like a newborn filly finding its legs.”
“Ruby, I know this can’t be easy for you, but this is a blessing for our family. God answered our prayers.” He locked eyes with her. “And now I need to bring you back home where you belong so you can reunite with Aidan.”
Oh, no! She didn’t think she was quite ready for that. Ruby wanted to see her child, but she was terrified. What would she say to him? Would he expect her to be a certain way or hold him in a special manner? She didn’t know a single thing about being a mother.
“I hadn’t planned on anything like this,” she said lamely. “I—I don’t know what I would say to him. How do I explain that I don’t remember him?”
“If you don’t face this, you might never really be able to move forward.” Liam’s voice held an intensity that reverberated throughout the room. “Part of that is meeting your son.”
Ruby bit her lip. A feeling of anxiety swept over her. Had coming to Love been a huge mistake? Everything was happening so quickly. In a matter of minutes her life had dramatically changed, so much so that she wasn’t sure she could keep up with all the shifts.
“Can Ruby and I have a moment alone?” Liam asked, looking over at the sheriff, who nodded before stepping out of the room.
Once they were alone, Ruby felt a sudden shyness take over. This tall, good-looking man with the soulful, intense eyes was her husband. He belonged to her. And she to him. The weight of it settled over her like a warm blanket. Even though she couldn’t remember him or any specific details about their life together, she felt a tremendous pull in his direction that shook her to her very core. She fought against a sudden impulse to run all the way back to Colorado where she’d been safe from this gorgeous, rugged man who seemed to want the world from her.
Chapter Two
Once they were alone, Liam took a moment to simply gaze at his wife. She was even more beautiful than before, he realized. If that was even remotely possible. Since the very first time he had laid eyes on her, he’d believed that Ruby was the loveliest woman in the world. She had the type of beauty that turned heads. Her warm brown eyes had always showed him her truths. Now, he couldn’t see anything radiating from their russet depths but fear.
And it killed him that instead of making her feel safe, his presence brought her anxiety. Hadn’t Ruby always sought him out for love and protection? At least she had until the last few weeks before the accident in Colorado. He’d never admitted it to a single person, but his marriage had been coming apart at the seams. They had fought over the dangers of her occupation and Liam’s desire to have her close to home rather than flying out on rescue missions. Now, with Ruby’s memory loss, he was still the only person who knew she had asked for a separation before heading to Colorado.
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