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Tate couldn’t help but smile. He hadn’t realized it until just now, but he’d missed the easy friendship that the two girls had shared. It had always been filled with so much joy and laughter. And, despite his reservations, he knew that Cassidy’s friendship would fill a huge, gaping void in his sister’s life. That’s all he’d ever wanted for Holly—to find peace in her everyday life. He envied her. Clearly, she’d found peace in forgiveness, something he still hadn’t been able to achieve for himself.
“Tate, I’m sorry.” Cassidy had a contrite express
ion on her face. Her eyes were swirling with a host of emotions he couldn’t decipher.
“For what?” he asked, genuinely at a loss as to why he was getting an apology from Cassidy.
“For everything. When I looked at my day planner this morning I realized what today is. What it would’ve been.”
He let out a sigh. Somehow he’d been hoping that no one would mention it, that he could lick his wounds in private. With Cassidy’s return, he should have realized that the past would be staring him right in the face.
“Would’ve beens don’t really count.” Although his voice sounded casual, his insides were churning.
“Don’t they?” she asked coolly.
He shrugged. “We didn’t get married. It’s not like today is our anniversary or anything.”
“So you’ve never thought about what our lives would’ve been like if we had walked down the aisle?”
He fidgeted, pulling at the collar of his shirt. “Not really. I mean...of course I’ve thought about it. But I try not to dwell on it. No use dwelling on something that wasn’t meant to be.”
“I’m not trying to rub your nose in it or bring up something that you’ve closed a door on,” Cassidy explained. “Being back home has just brought up a lot of...I guess you might call them unresolved issues. So when I saw today’s date it just made me think of things I hadn’t thought of in a long time.”
“Everything is hitting you all at once. Your mom being sick, coming home, reconnecting with Holly.” He cast her a sly grin. “And of course dealing with an ornery sheriff is never easy.”
“You’re not so bad,” Cassidy said in a quiet voice, her eyes roaming over his face.
“For what it’s worth, I’m happy for you and Holly.” He shot a quick glance over at his sister, who was wildly waving her hands and beaming from ear to ear while talking to the Blakes. “It’s nice to see her so content.” He stroked his jaw for a moment, his eyes trained on the floor. “I have to admit, I didn’t even want the two of you in the same vicinity, never mind having a one-on-one. But I was wrong about that. Holly’s stronger than I give her credit for being. And the bond between you two...” The texture of his voice changed, becoming husky with emotion. “I guess it’s stronger than old wounds. So, thank you, Cassidy, for giving her peace. You did that.”
Without warning she threw herself into his arms, snuggling up against his chest and embracing him. The scent of her shampoo—strawberries and cream—rose to his nostrils.
“Hearing that from you means the world to me,” she whispered as she nestled herself deeper into his chest. His arms rested helplessly at his sides. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, but he knew if he did he was only making trouble for himself. It was far too dangerous. Surrendering to the impulse would be like being pulled under by quicksand. When Cassidy finally let go of him and took a step away from him, he felt a nagging sense of loss. Her face was a bit blotchy from crying and she couldn’t quite look him in the eye. She muttered a few words of apology.
Although he wanted to believe in her sincerity, the past crept along his spine like a spider, reminding him of all the pain she’d brought into their lives. Who’s to say she wouldn’t do it all over again?
“If you hurt her again you’ll have to deal with me. Understand?” His words came out harsher than he intended.
With a look of hurt in her eyes she slowly nodded her head, then turned around and made her way back down the aisle toward her family and Holly.
He felt a little badly about embarrassing her. The way she’d slinked away like a wounded possum nagged at him. He wasn’t used to seeing her like that. Would it have killed him to hug her back? Yes, it might’ve, a little voice in his head whispered. Did he have to rub her nose in the fact that she’d hurt Holly so deeply? Yes! There was no point in sugarcoating things.
What did he have to feel guilty about anyway? West Falls was just a temporary resting place for Cassidy. As soon as her mother was on the mend, she’d be returning to her life in Phoenix. It would probably be another eight years until he saw her again. Maybe she’d have a husband and some kids by then, he thought. The idea of Cassidy being married to someone else didn’t sit well with him, but he knew it was bound to happen. Her future wasn’t in the small town of West Falls. It was in the big, bustling city of Phoenix.
But this time when she left, as she was bound to do, she wasn’t taking his shattered heart along with her.
Chapter Six
Two long weeks had gone by since Cassidy had reunited with Holly at Main Street Church. Two weeks during which her mother had undergone her surgery—a lumpectomy—and Cassidy had served as her primary caregiver. Prior to the surgery, an MRI had revealed that the chemotherapy had indeed shrunk the tumor, leading to a less invasive procedure. The Blakes had been ecstatic. In her postsurgical visit the doctor had announced that the entire tumor had been extracted and that all the remaining lymph nodes were clean. Cassidy couldn’t remember a time when she’d been more thankful for God’s blessings.
At the moment all her mother had to do was rest, gain some weight back and follow up with her doctor at regular intervals. Although she’d been given the option of more chemotherapy treatments and radiation, her mother had declined. Cassidy was proud of her mother. She’d done her homework and come up with options that she was comfortable with during her recovery.
There were so many prayers being offered up for her continued good health and speedy recovery. A week ago her mother had made the decision to share her health crisis with the congregation, who’d been showering her with cards, calls, meals, floral bouquets and well-wishes ever since.
Cassidy didn’t quite know what to do with herself since her father had whisked her mother off to a romantic lunch date. Although she was still a bit sore at her incision site, her mother had felt well enough to venture out. Cassidy felt a pang of envy as she watched her parents walk hand in hand toward the car. Would she ever have enduring love? If she ever had a life challenge to overcome, would there be someone by her side to weather the storm?
The one thing she knew for certain was that she couldn’t move forward without closing the door on the past. Although she thought she’d done that by leaving West Falls, coming home had made her realize that all she’d done was run away. That didn’t give you closure. It didn’t put a period at the end of the sentence.
Cassidy lifted the lid of her ballerina jewelry box and pulled out the velvet box. It was still there just where she’d left it. She shouldn’t be surprised considering her parents hadn’t changed a single thing about her bedroom in all these years. As a teenager she’d loved the look. The walls were still painted a light cream tone, the romantic duvet with the blue roses still covered her bed and the frilly lace curtains still hung by the two bay windows. Part of her wouldn’t have blamed them if they’d transformed it into an exercise room or a sewing room. Eight years was a long time to keep the faith.
