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“No, everything’s fine. I just wondered if you might want to stay for a bit, to watch the foal being born.”
He watched as she glanced up at the sky again. Although the wind had kicked up a bit, there was no rain falling and the sky was still light. The storm was still hours away.
Cassidy nodded her head and smiled. “I’d love to see the foal being born. It’ll be a first for me.”
Tate detected a hint of anxiety in her eyes and he wondered if it was about the approaching storm. “If you’re worried about the storm, I can drive you back home later,” he suggested. “And Malachi can drive your car behind us.”
“No, it shouldn’t be a problem. It hasn’t even started raining yet.”
“Well then,” he said with a grin, “let’s go inside before Fiddlesticks scares the stuffing out of Malachi.”
The sound of Cassidy’s tinkling laughter warmed his insides, making him feel as if he’d performed an amazing feat. Her eyes at the moment looked like glittering emeralds and her pretty mouth made him think of sweet kisses in the moonlight.
Whoa! He was starting to feel like one of his untamed stallions who needed to settle down. What he and Cassidy now shared was friendship, pure and simple. He couldn’t let his mind go to that place, that faraway place where all his dreams lived. Those dreams were all tied up with the past. With one last look at Cassidy he ushered her into the stables and set about the business of delivering Horseshoe Bend Ranch’s newest foal.
* * *
Four hours later and she and Tate were still awaiting the birth of Fiddlesticks’s foal. Malachi had taken off a few minutes ago so that he could check on some of his relatives at the reservation. He was concerned that some of them wouldn’t have heard about the oncoming storm and might get stuck in dangerous situations. Although he was a man of few words, Malachi’s altruistic actions spoke volumes about his character. She had enjoyed watching the close relationship between Malachi and Tate—the easy laughter that flowed between them and the way they worked in sync as a team.
At the moment Tate seemed a little concerned about the lack of progress the mare was making in delivering her foal. He got down on his knees and spent a few minutes checking out Fiddlesticks. She was stretched out on her side and her legs were thrashing around. Tate was running his hand along the mare’s back and massaging her spine.
“How’s she doing?” Cassidy asked as Tate exited the stall, his jeans looking a little worse for wear.
“She’s not laboring heavily yet, although she’s sweating quite a bit. She’s lying on her side, so she’s probably having some contractions. I don’t think she’s ready to deliver this foal just yet though.”
“Does Holly know about Fiddlesticks?”
“No, I haven’t spoken to her today. She left town yesterday for a rehabilitation program in New York. They flew her down there as part of a scholarship she won.” Tate beamed proudly. “It’s quite an honor for her. My dad flew down with her since she hasn’t flown by herself since...well, since the accident.”
She felt a twinge of sadness that Holly hadn’t shared her exciting news with her. Over the past few weeks they’d talked a few times on the phone and made plans to have lunch as soon as her mother was feeling better. She knew she shouldn’t feel disappointed, since rebuilding their friendship would take time. Although they’d mended fences, it wasn’t an instant fix. There was still work to be done.
“The program teaches independence to people with spinal cord injuries. It’s one of the most successful programs in the country,” Tate explained. “It’s fairly expensive, so the scholarship was a blessing.”
“She seems pretty sure of herself. I once heard the expression ‘putting the able in disabled.’ When I think of Holly that’s what I think of.”
“She projects confidence, that’s for sure. But there’s a lot of fear there. She still has some mountains to conquer...riding again, going on a plane by herself, dating. She used to love riding, but she’s scared to death about getting back in the saddle.” A deep sigh escaped his lips. “And the thought of traveling on a plane alone makes her anxious. She says that if something were to happen on the plane she wouldn’t be able to save herself. She’s actually suffered a few panic attacks.” He shrugged. “Most women her age go on dates—to the movies, dinner, dancing...” His voice trailed off. “There hasn’t been anyone special in her life since high school.”
His voice sounded troubled and she longed to make him smile again. He’d always carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, seeming to care about other people’s problems more than he cared about his own.
“Those things can be problematic for able-bodied people,” Cassidy quipped. “And we all have fears. I was shaking in my boots my first day back in town.”
Tate looked embarrassed. “Was that before or after you got an earful from me?”
“I don’t blame you for being angry,” she said in a quiet voice. “I expected it.”
“I don’t like feeling angry, Cass. It’s not who I am, nor who I want to be.”
“I feel like there’s a but in that sentence.” She knew this man so well. At one point in time she could practically finish his sentences for him. “Don’t hold back. I can take whatever you have to throw at me.”
“I’ve been so angry for so long. Since the accident. Since you left.” He looked at her with wounded eyes and she felt her heart breaking all over again. “You leaving Holly like that, it was devastating. As a brother it killed me to watch her fall apart. But you leaving me like that and calling off our wedding...it broke me, Cass. As a man, it broke me right here.” He thumped his fist on his chest. His shoulders were slumped, his head bowed. “It hurts my pride to even admit that.”
She swallowed past the huge lump in her throat. “It hurts to know I’ve made you feel this way.”
“I defended you, did you know that? To my family, to my friends, to everyone who mattered to me. I told them it was an accident, that it could have happened to anyone. I still wanted to marry you. I wanted to make a life with you, to forgive you, to help others forgive you. And then you took off without a word of goodbye. You bailed on us!”
She blinked back tears. “I can’t change the past, Tate. No matter how much I wish I could.”
His voice softened and became almost tender, as if he’d had all the wind blown out of him. “I know you’re looking to make up for the past. I can’t blame you for that. It must feel awful coming back to a town that doesn’t quite accept you. The other day you asked me why I can’t show you forgiveness? What you don’t understand is that I’m trying to. I want to show you mercy. And kindness. But forgiveness. I struggle with it.”
