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Bodie Whitman was an asshole. A womanizer. A liar and a jerk.
Tears filled my eyes as I blinked them back, refusing to cry in front of him. We’d just had the most amazing sex of my life and then he ruined it, telling me thanks like I’d just been another woman in a long row of wet pussies he liked to fuck. For all I knew, it could be true.
Shit.
I should have thought this through. What was the matter with me? He was my sister’s boyfriend. How could I do that? How could I sleep with him so easily?
Guilt smothered me until all I could do was close my eyes to the harsh reality of my bad choices.
You’re an idiot, Sasha Pratt.
Worse, I didn’t confide the entire truth to Bodie. He still didn’t know the worst about my past and now I didn’t have to worry that he would find out. The man just made it ten times easier to move on once I found Trish.
Bodie’s soft snores echoed in the room only a few minutes later as I lay there, grateful that he didn’t kick me from the room afterward. That would have been the ultimate humiliation. Not that his cold and aloof response after he rolled off me was any less degrading.
I wasn’t sure why it bothered me so much. What did I expect? Declarations of love? Passionate feelings and promises of forever? Bodie was a biker. A member of the Royal Bastards MC and he sure lived up to the name.
There was never any expectation other than the temporary fusion of our bodies and a quick lay. Bodie didn’t break his word and treat me any differently than any of the others seemed to treat their women or the cookies they fucked often. I really resented that terminology, but it wasn’t my place to say anything about it. The women made their own choices and I had to respect that way of life even if I could never be happy sleeping around with so many men. I was entirely too jealous and possessive once I was attached to someone.
When I woke up the next morning the bed was empty and Bodie’s side was cold. He’d been gone for quite a while. Uncertain, I decided to shower and dress, acting as if I knew exactly what last night meant when I didn’t have a damn clue. My self-respect intact, I left the room in search of coffee and food and found a few of the regulars cooking and cleaning the bar and kitchen.
“You’re Sasha, right?” A petite blonde in a short, red leather mini skirt gave me a bright smile as she pointed to each of the others. “This is Harley, Becca, LeAnn, and Cindi. I’m Snooki. None of us are ol’ ladies except you and Cindi. She’s with Lucky.”
Ol’ ladies? Me? I wanted to correct her but didn’t have the heart. “Nice to meet you all.”
“You look just like her,” Cindi spoke up, biting her lower lip. “I was close to Suraya. It’s kind of weird but I’m glad you’re here. Bodie’s been pretty lost these last six months.”
“I haven’t seen him smile since,” Harley added. “But he sure has smiled a lot since you’ve been around.”
Giggling, Becca winked in my direction. “He was all smiles this mornin’. I almost spilled his coffee I was so surprised.”
“He hasn’t been around much.” Snooki shrugged. “But I think he’s found what he lost.”
“You’re a gift, just in time for Christmas,” Cindi laughed. “I bet that man is overcome with . . . joy.”
All of them laughed as I blushed.
“He fucks like a god, doesn’t he?” Snooki stared off dreamily as Cindi elbowed her in the side.
“She hasn’t fucked him. She’s just always wanted to.” Cindi glared her way. “You don’t say that shit to an ol’ lady unless you want your ass kicked.”
“Fuck. I’m sorry!” Snooki threw her hands up in the air. “I can’t help it. He’s sexy as fuck but don’t worry. I know my place, Sasha. Besides, he only has eyes for you.”
The others nodded as my cheeks reddened further.
“That man is all hot and bothered,” Cindi added. “Lucky was giving him shit this morning before they left.”
I didn’t know how to reply to that, so I stayed silent.
“Here, have something to eat. I know you worked up an appetite.” Cindi piled food on a plate as Snooki set a cup of coffee in front of me. “Enjoy, babe.”
I rolled my eyes but laughed at their comments, eating everything they set in front of me as I realized I was starving. For a few minutes, I took in the scene, smiling as they went about their daily routine. Funny, but I never thought about how each person functioned as part of the greater whole. There was no hint that a party had gone on last night. The place was clean, smelled of lemon and freshly polished wood, and the scent of baked goods were prominent as they wafted from the kitchen.
I could find my place here, too. If I had the chance.
Wistful, I dismissed the idea. Bodie wasn’t looking for an ol’ lady. He already lost my sister and wasn’t in a hurry to replace her. The thought should have made me happy, but I only felt sad. My heart ached a little, but I quickly pushed any unpleasantness away. I could enjoy the moment while I had it. Beyond that, only time would tell. Anyway, I never planned on staying long.
My best friend was missing. That trumped everything.
