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I opened my mouth to reply and then shut it, absorbing his words.
“I think it would be pretty hard to lose someone that you loved that much so I get it, mom. You can be sad if you feel like it, and I won’t mind.”
“What did I do in this life to deserve you, huh? You’re so amazing, Zane. Brilliant, handsome, understanding, and far too mature for your age.”
He rolled his eyes at that statement. “I love you too.”
“You know there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you, right?” I asked, nearly choking on the words.
“Mom, all you have ever done is sacrifice for me since the day I was born. So, yeah. I know,” he teased.
Zane polished off his burger and fries and then reached for the chicken sandwich I bought him. I watched him eating, forcing myself to finish most of the salad before I pushed my chicken sandwich in front of him. He didn’t protest and slurped down the vanilla shake I’d gotten him, belching loudly and then looking up, wiggling his eyebrows.
“Crazy kid,” I muttered with humor, “Where do you put all that food? Just stuff it down your legs?”
Zane snorted. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
We finished dinner and then settled in, both of us flopping down on our beds.
“It’s almost Halloween. How about a marathon of Friday the 13th?”
“Seems appropriate,” I agreed, gesturing to the room and all of the clowns that seemed to be watching us in the dim lighting. The mural of Jason and his machete added to the creepy vibe.
Zane leaned back against the headboard and kicked out his legs, stretching out the same way his dad used to do. Memories of Jasper in the back of his truck the last night we had together flooded my consciousness. He was only six years older than Zane was now. The similarities were uncanny. The same nose and eyes. The same dark hair and jawline. Sometimes it was so hard not to cry.
I rested back, observing my son, thanking God that a part of Jasper still lived on. I would always keep him close to my heart. Forgetting him was impossible. I lived with his ghost for the last seventeen years. All I had to do was look at my son. Jasper was alive and well . . . right in my heart.
Nothing would ever change that knowledge. Strangely enough, I was calmed by that reminder.
Zane glanced my way and flashed a grin. “I’m turning off all the lights. This is gonna be great.”
“It sure is,” I agreed.
Focusing on the movie, I let the past and its memories fade away, content and happy to spend time with my son.
