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“I never wanted to take things slow, not since I lost Emma. She was Colter’s mother.”
Bess blinked. She didn’t interrupt but I could see she was piecing what she knew together with what I was saying.
“We had Colter young. I was only eighteen and right out of high school. I’ve led a hard life and losing them both fucking killed me. I’m a difficult man. I don’t bullshit or say things I don’t mean. And I don’t hold back. It’s not my way.”
Bess opened her mouth but shut it again.
“I want you, sugar. I want to take you into your room and make good on all the promises and sexual need that keeps bouncing back and forth between us. I won’t lie to you when I say I’ve had a lot of women. Sex is just a release for me. When I lost Emma and then Colter, I became a man who locked his heart away. What I feel for you, for Noah, it fuckin’ terrifies me.”
“Jayce,” she whispered.
“But since I’ve met you, that’s all changed. I’m feeling things I can’t explain and don’t make sense. There’s a part of me that wants to hold you close and keep you both sheltered. Opening myself up, it’s the scariest thing I’ve done in nearly twenty years. I’m fifty-three, Bess.” Using her real name meant a lot to her. I could see the emotion in her eyes. “There’s got to be over twenty years between us. You’re so young. I don’t know if it’s wise to keep this up.” I ran a hand over my beard and stepped closer. “When I look into your eyes, I see a beautiful woman that needs protection and love. A man that can promise forever. Someone reliable that won’t break two vulnerable hearts. I don’t know if I can be that man, sugar.”
“And if I think you are?”
“Fuck, little mama. I want us both to take tonight. No rushing into this. If you still feel the same way when I come over for dinner, then we’ll take this to the next level. If not, I’ll understand.”
My Reaper didn’t like that compromise at all. He was fighting mad and I had to clench my fists to keep myself in check.
“Alright.” She gave me a mischievous smile. “Better not change your mind.”
“I won’t, honey lips. Guarantee that.”
“Why do you have so many tattoos?”
This kid never lacked for conversation or questions. Curious and ready to learn every minute of the day. Reminded me far too much of Colter at that age. He was the same scrawny kid that was always following me around and wanting to know shit.
“I like them,” I answered, giving him a smile. “They look tough.”
Noah’s eyes grew wide. “Do you need tattoos to be tough?”
I shook my head. “Nope. But some men use that as an excuse to be mean. You know the difference between tough and mean?”
Noah shivered in the cold and I wondered if he needed a heavier jacket. Space heater in my garage was giving off a good amount of heat but if you ventured more than about six feet away you felt the bite of the chilly December wind.
“I think so. Mean is mad and hitting and nothing works to stop it.”
Interesting. “Well, I suppose that might be true for some.”
“Tough is like wrestlers, right? They fight but they don’t hurt.”
Something about the way he said that sent warning bells into my head. “Yeah, pretty close, son.”
“Then I would like to be tough but not mean. Like you.”
Fuck. That went straight to my black heart.
“I think you are, Booga.” He giggled at the nickname. “You were brave when you had the accident and tough when they put on the cast.”
“Then I need to get a tattoo.”
Coughing at his words as I took a sip of beer and it went down the wrong pipe, I had to resist the urge to laugh hard. Bess sure wouldn’t like that.
“I think you’ll have to wait until you get a little older.”
“Will you take me?”
“I want a tattoo, Dad.”
