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He didn’t anticipate this reaction. He admired her ability to keep him on his toes, never knowing what was going to come out of her mouth next. She never disappointed when it came to amusing him. “Of course they did. They were after you.”
He worked on practicing patience as he watched her laughter go on for far too long. After what seemed like forever, her laughter slowed and she wiped a tear from her eye. Ahappytear from her eye. “You think because they were ordered to take me that they weren’t any good? They didn’tknowme. They were only following orders, just like you.”
Darius’ heart dropped to the pit of his stomach. If she believed he killed innocent immortals in front of her, which she was right to believe, that meant he didn’t stand a chance with her. “I won’t argue with you. You’re right. They weren’t bad people and didn’t deserve it.” Of course, in the case of his recent kills, he believed they all deserved it. “So you understand.”
Fuck with my lifeblood and you deserve to die, he thought, an aggressive need to protect her washing over him.
“Understand what?” Her laughter died down.
“Understand who I am. I’m a murderer, Eva.”
She scoffed and he was unable to identify any sort of fear in her eyes. He was a murderer, amonster.Didn’t she see that?
“Are you a killer? I have no doubt in the world that you are. But you’re a kick ass killer. I watched you in action. You weresobad ass. Those people you killed got in your way. Honestly, if I was as skilled as you, I would’ve killed them too. Side note, youhaveto teach me your skills. I need to kill the fuckers that step inmyway.”
“I’m a monster.”
“That’s what you keep saying.” Eva didn’t seem to agree with him. “If that’s what you are, count me in. You’re the coolest monster I’ve ever met.”
He dug his fingers into his hair, pulling at it in frustration. “I don’t think you’re understanding the point I’m trying to make.”
Her expression grew hard at last. “You’re claiming you’re a monster for doing what you had to do to keep your sister and yourself alive. I’m telling you you’re wrong to think that.What you did makes you an amazing and caring man. Also, I have no doubt that Artem treated both you and your sister like absolute shit before you proved yourself enough to move up in his ranks. Historically, turned humans were slaves.”
“Once I moved up in the ranks, why couldn’t I just escape and bring Karina with me?”
“Because you were terrified and brainwashed by that asshole. Tell me, how did Artem treat you initially?”
Everything she said was spot on. Darius and Karina spent the first two-hundred years of their immortal lives building Artem’s ‘empire’ by night and serving the nobility as blood slaves by day. “Not well.” Darius bit his lip, not wanting to remember the earlier part of his immortality.
Eva nodded. “I’m sorry about what you had to go through. I can’t imagine it being anything short of brutal.” Her expression softened as she pressed a palm to his cheek, massaging his lip with her thumb. It was a thoughtful gesture that lifted him from his memories, bringing him back to the present. Back to her. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to relax and simply feel her touch.
Then, slowing her words, she continued. “Anyone in your situation would’ve done what they had to in order to get out of it. That’s exactly what you did, didn’t you? And you didn’t do it for only yourself. You did it for your sister too. It was a selfless pursuit. And don’t blame yourself for not escaping earlier. The fear of returning to that life would be enough to convince anyone to do exactly as Artem wanted, and he wanted you to stay.” Darius was trying to grasp her words and the meaning behind them. Was it possible he wasn’t a monster after all? “Am I wrong to think you had to prove yourself to get where you are today?”
He refused to lie to her. Opening his eyes, he answered. “No, that’s exactly what I had to do. I killed hundreds. After we were freed from that life I continued to kill. I never stopped.”
She dropped her hand. “If you stopped the two of you would’ve been thrown right back where you started, wouldn’t you have been?”
She was refusing to see his point.Stubborn girl.“Yes. Back to being blood slaves.”
She winced when he said that, though she quickly tried to hide her reaction. He knew it was involuntary. Everyone in the unnatural world knew what blood slaves went through. It wasn’t a life anyone wanted to live. It was a terrible, pathetic existence.
I may have been pathetic, but at least I wasn’t a monster yet,he thought.
“I can’t begin to imagine the agonies you two had to go through to be able to stand where you are today. You’re brave as hell for surviving it, and incredible for remaining good despite it.”
“Good?” He wasn’t good. He killed hundreds and he’d kill hundreds more if that was what he had to do. “I don’t think you’re understanding what I’m trying to tell you.”
“You might have killed plenty of others, but Karina is alive and clearly thriving because of what you did. Would you have been a better person if you refused Artem’s orders and watched her die?”
Darius didn’t know the answer to that question. Though he did know one thing - he would’ve never been able to live with himself if he allowed Karina to die. Trying to remain truthful to Eva, he admitted, “I honestly don’t know.”
“I didn’t expect you to. Your situation mirrors a moral dilemma humans have questioned for centuries - save one by killing many, or save many by killing one? I believe that if you have enough heart to lean one way over the other, without question, you’ve proven you’re a good person. Good people have heart. Good people care. You never stopped caring for Karina, and now you’re constantly caring for me. In fact, you helped me realize it’s possibleto begin caring for others again. That’s extraordinary. You’re a good person.”
It was then that Darius decided to stop debating her. Despite what he revealed about himself, she still believed he was a good person.As if by a miracle.Not only that, but because of her words he was beginning to believe he might not actually be a monster.
After today, how could he ever let Eva go?
The simple answer? He couldn’t.
