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My head swims with a dozen questions. If an angel loved me so much, then why have I had such a shitty life? How did I end up attracting Joel? Nothing makes sense.
“Unfortunately, being so loved also puts a target on you. Darkness wants to ruin the kind of light you embody. Lucifer’s essence tangles around you even now. It bothers me. Please tell me why you would agree to such a thing?” Andre’s bottom lip pouts with his question. “What was worth it?”
“You can’t expect me to bare my soul to you after this bullshit.” I shift onto my back and stare at the ceiling. “You should spend the rest of eternity wondering why things are the way they are.”
Andre arches up and peers down at me. It’s like he can’t resist trying to keep me locked in his gaze. I give up on avoiding him and return his intensity with my own. Who knew the eyes might be the windows to the soul. Andre doesn’t make it feel pure and innocent as I expect an angel would. I shiver in anticipation. It’s the same sensation I have before sex. The whole getting naked for the first time in front of someone new part. And right now? I like it. If Andre wants to soul fuck again or whatever, I won’t resist. Maybe I can use it to my advantage. I mean, it worried Cassius enough that he went all psycho angel.
“I deserve your hostility, little hellion. I will accept the consequences for my actions even if it’s denying myself the experience of learning more about how special you are.” His admission throws me off guard. It’s not exactly how I expected him to respond to my comment. The softness of his voice wraps around me like a whisper of despair. Instead of steeling myself toward his angelic innocence, I bathe in it. “I’ve failed you. I wish there was something in my power I could do to make it up to you or to change things, but things are out of my control and set forth by the Higher Power.”
The urge to hug him consumes me, but I resist. It has to be the whole angel thing confusing me on a deep-seated level. He might be nice and feel bad for me, yet it doesn’t change the fact that he won’t do anything to help.
I stare at him without responding for a long while, wondering what it is I should do. Instead of the silence growing uncomfortable, it helps calm my racing heart. I can think more clearly with him sitting without talking or trying to reason with me over things I refuse to believe in.
“I want things to be different,” he murmurs like he talks to himself. “It pains me knowing that Lucifer will get a soul that should’ve never belonged to him.”
He’s so open to me in this moment. I can feel the truth of his words as if it’s just a fact of life and not his opinion. If only it didn’t make me feel utterly and completely guilty. Because using his honesty against him is a total dick move, but this is my life and eternity at the saviors and devils’ mercy. I never expected for things to get ripped from my control. As wrong as it feels trying to take advantage of an angel, it will be way worse if I go to Hell as a slave because of him and his brethren.
“Well, it is what it is, Andre.” I shift my gaze down his perfectly muscular body and back to his eyes. “If you want to make things better, at least temporarily, I can think of something you can do. Cassius did cock-block me from peeking at your...” I motion at his pants, heat blooming in my cheeks. I can’t believe I’m taking Dante’s advice and being forward with an angel, trying to put dirty thoughts in his mind.
Andre’s features sharpen with the change in his expression. Blinking a few times, I expect for him to turn me down. I expect him to shame me for even suggesting he whip out his cock for me to look at. What I don’t expect is for him to push to his feet and drop his pants to his ankles. He stands before me in all his angelic glory—which should be completely sinful because of how sexy he is. Even though he’s not hard, his dick is huge. Porn star status. Godly. Ungodly? I don’t even care.
He stands a foot away and the intimidating appendage is within my reach. Heat burns through my body, and I just gawk at him. I don’t even care that he’s not man-scaped. Why would he be? He’s an angel.
“You can touch it. It’s not a big deal. Mortal bodies are just that to me—bodies,” Andre says, swiveling his hips and swinging his damn baby elephant trunk-sized member around.
The Hell inside me says this might be the only chance I might ever get to touch an angel’s cock and that I shouldn’t let the opportunity go to waste, but the human side of me screams I’m fucking ridiculous and need to chill.
“What about souls? What are they to you? You obviously liked seeing mine,” I say, hovering my hand an inch away from his naked body. “Do you want to see it again?”
Damn. My monster-side wins, and I crush and scatter the pieces of my moral code to the hellish wind. Because with my comment, Andre’s cock hardens and ends up tapping against my palm. I lace my fingers around his ethereal, heavenly dick and wonder if this is what it’s truly like to call someone sex on a stick. A big stick. He is so attractive that even my soul hums with desire like I have a spirit boner for him.
His body ripples and flexes, and he moans deep in his throat. “Raven, what have you done to me?” He smiles with his words. “Your closeness—your touch. The light of your soul caressing me feels like Heaven. How can it be possible that such a wondrous thing can be destined for Hell?”
Was that an angelic pick-up line? It might sound like one, but the innocence in his words is rather endearing.
I can almost hear Dante encouraging me to offer a blowjob. “Many people wonder that. If my soul is bad, then why does it feel so good?” The cliché feels more than fitting in this moment, because it’s true.
Andre moans again as I slowly test his resolve and stroke my fingers along his shaft. I’m such a pervert enjoying how much the angel loves my hand—or soul—touching his body. His moans and rippling muscles, how he caresses his fingers through my hair and peers at me in front of him on my knees, encourages me to shove my hesitation away. Screw it. I want to ruin the purity of this angel.
I lick my lips and position myself closer, aligning my mouth with his erection. This is it. My very first angelic blowjob. I just hope if angels can cum that he doesn’t blast me to Hell. What kind of end would that be? A fitting one for me, I guess.
“Can I taste you?” I ask, feeling especially naughty. I don’t know what kind of knowledge he has, but I know he can’t be that dense. He’s been around mortals...forever.
“You want to lick it?” His eyebrows shoot up on his forehead with his question.
I nod. “Maybe suck it. It’s called a blowjob...unless this kind of thing is against some sort of angelic law. I’m not an avid bible reader, but—”
“We don’t have laws like the way you would think. It doesn’t work like that.” He smirks with his words like having to explain the ways of the universe is a silly concept.
“I’m nearly certain Cassius wouldn’t agree with you.” I keep stroking my hand over the length of his shaft instead of pushing things further. Andre is so open and honest, I don’t want to miss my opportunity to figure out the other brethren.
Pursing his lips, Andre shrugs. “Just because he doesn’t agree, doesn’t make it untrue. Cassius just worries about the universe. He takes his mission to keep Lucifer in line very seriously. It still hurts him—the betrayal. Lucifer changed Cassius’s purpose when he, Dante, and Kase turned their backs on the Higher Power and jumped, taking a part of humanity with them. Cassius and Lucifer were bonded by essence, created together, and intended to lead together. Mortals would refer to them as brothers. Fraternal twins.”
Wow. Well, that was left out of the books.
“But that’s enough talk about them,” Andre says, combing his fingers through my hair. “I promised to do what I could to make you feel better, and from the looks of your soul, I see that I’m failing.” His wings unfurl on his back and expand out before wrapping around me like a shield. “I don’t want to fail anymore. And while I’m not sure how this will make you feel better, I think I would like to experience a blowjob from you.”
Shit. His innocence is so damn pure, I feel evil corrupting him. I guess I truly do have to embrace my Hell-bound side. “Let’s just say that I enjoy making you feel good.”
