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It takes everything in me not to jump in his arms because something about him in this moment triggers fear inside me.
“Darlin’, I’m sorry. You don’t have to be afraid of me. I have a clear mind again, and I want to meet and see if we can come up with a plan to get through this. I’m lost, and I’m confused. It’s as if the world is against us.”
Tears burn in my eyes at how sullen he sounds in this moment. I can feel him on a deep-seated level as his emotions crash over me. He feels regret and he’s mourning the life we had when he was still mortal. He feels utterly and completely defeated that he can’t figure out how to fix things or if things can even be fixed.
“I don’t think that is a good idea,” I say softly, tears now streaming down my cheeks. I hate rejecting him, but it’s too dangerous. I have more than myself to look after now.
“Please, Raven. I need you. I’m so sorry about how things turned out. I’ll do anything. Please.” Elias drops to his knees and clasps his hands together.
The world around us quakes, and Elias flashes in and out of existence. Andre whispers my name, prodding at my very being, trying to get me to wake up.
“I’m sorry. I have to go. I feel myself being pulled away from you.” I can barely see through my teary eyes. My whole being aches in a way that it had when I lost Elias the first time. When he died in my arms, saving me. “I will talk to my devils, okay? I won’t abandon you. But I can’t risk being near you. Heaven wants me too badly.”
“Raven, wait. Give me just a minute longer to be with you.” Elias crawls forward on his knees and grabs my hands, setting my body aglow with his light.
Darkness erupts from me, shooting him backward. He can’t touch me in this dream world. My marks won’t allow him to. They won’t allow me to stay either.
“I’m sorry. I can’t. But I will reach you again. I promise.” I ease my hands from his and cover my face, my whole body aching as my soul feels as if it shatters and falls to pieces.
The world vanishes with Elias.
My devils call my name.
I don’t respond. I don’t move. I just fall into the pain of knowing that Elias needs me, and I can’t be there for him. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to again.
Chapter 21
RAVEN
Haunted
TWO WEEKS FEELS like a year in Hell. Usually, the time flies by so quickly. Now? Not so much. But this is right for me and the devils, keeping me hidden within each of their kingdoms, but I can’t stop thinking about Elias. He hasn’t returned to my dreams since I abandoned him.
“Little hellion, why don’t we go for a walk. You need to work on your skills. The stronger and more powerful you become, the quicker we can re-join the Mortal Realm. Isn’t that something you want?” Andre hovers in the arched doorway of the room we share in his palace. “If it is not, we should still practice.”
I close my eyes and shut out the world for a moment longer. I don’t mean to ignore him and not respond to him right away, but there are so many emotions coursing through me, twisting my stomach, and it doesn’t help that I feel nauseated. I shouldn’t be sick from this pregnancy. I haven’t gotten sick in a while. But I guess it was bound to happen. My babies might be spawns of Heaven and Hell, but I’m only mortal.
“I will if you can convince the other devils to be my victims. I want to learn how to fight against someone more powerful than me. I’m not in a good state of mind to punish souls.” I rub my temples and comb my hair from my face, finally forcing myself to sit up. “I’ll give you extra cuddles and a blow job if you manage to convince Lucian to dress more like Cassius. I know they don’t look alike, but they feel so similar. I kind of want to just beat the hell out of that bastard angel.”
Andre chuckles with his smile, and he spreads his arms wide and wiggles his fingers, coaxing me to slide off the bed. “I think I can manage that. Zade has also been looking forward to showing off his kingdom to you. Maybe we can start there?”
“How long has he been done?” I purse my lips together, feeling bad that I had no idea Zade had completed building his kingdom. I should’ve been there to watch him and to support him through everything, but I’ve been struggling to even go wherever the devils lead me through the day. They’ve been caring for me and coddling me. I can’t even remember if I even walked on my two feet the last two weeks.
I know I’m a bit of a disappointment right now too. They have been yearning for my attention, to have fun and to consummate our new bonded souls, but I still feel as if I’m broken. They respect that and give me whatever I need even if I don’t ask. What I could really use though is to have things return to normal.
“Not long. Promise. Zade isn’t exactly motivated to punish souls. You know how he is.” Andre smiles with his words, referring to the fact that Zade is the embodiment of Sloth, and he tends to stand and just watch without doing much.
“Let’s go there first, then. The training can wait. I’m far too curious to see what kind of twisted punishment he has created.” And truly, I am. It is so fascinating to see the kinds of punishments my devils create for the Hell-bound and damned.
Andre scoops me into his arms and positions me to where I hug him with my body. The world blurs with his movements, and I screech as he launches from the balcony and right into the middle of his tornado orgy. The scent of musk and desperation assaults my nose, and I hide my face in the crook of his neck, sniffing his coconut scent. I try to suppress my lust the best I can because when I’m out here and not in the safety of his palace, his power affects me in a way that I can hardly ignore.
“You better hurry, or you’re going to be banging me along the way,” I mutter, kissing his throat and exploring his broad back around his wings with my fingers.
“Then I guess I need to slow down. I’ve missed you.” Andre’s voice deepens with his lust, and he slides his hand between my legs with enough pressure to make me squeeze him tighter.
And fuck. It sets me off. I crash my mouth to his and glide my tongue between his lips, showering him with my desperation. It’s as if his touch alone awakens my body, and I am tired of ignoring it. I feel so good in his arms. I want a moment with him. I know he’s been yearning to be with me. I’ve also been unintentionally starving him.
“Little hellion, I want to give you what you desire,” Andre mumbles against my mouth.
