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I’m so confused. I can’t believe this just happened. How can Cooper think he can get away with this? It puts me on guard, and I hold my hands up when he tries to close the space to me.
“You asshole! How could you do this?” My voice rises in pitch, and I take another step back. He can rush me if he wants to. He can steal me away and hide me until Mr. Falo is ready to speak to him.
“Hayley, please. You have to calm down before you attack me. I’m not your enemy. I understand you’re pissed and in shock, but I had to make a deal. You realize he could’ve overpowered me and just taken you, right? There would’ve been a chance that somebody would’ve stopped him, but there would’ve also been a chance that he was successful. I wasn’t going to risk you getting hurt.” Cooper tries to close the space to me again. His features twist, and he stops short.
I catch sight of my reflection in the mirror. I’m a monster again. I’m on the verge of losing control, and he’s the one I crave to go after. It’s hard for me to even process his words. That asshole vampire threatened to kill his sister and cut out my tongue. Fuck.
“But your sister. You could break her contract for her.” It’s the only thing I can think to say. I mean, I wouldn’t blame him for wanting to help his family. It’s not as if he would be sacrificing himself. It’s the same situation as with the gemstones and my best friend Mya. Alexander threatened them because of me, so of course I wasn’t going to put up a big fight. I wasn’t going to leave when others were at stake, but that’s me. I care about them as if they’re my family just as Cooper cares about his sister.
“My sister would understand. She was raised by my grandma too. Plus, she’s tougher than me.” He offers me a pathetic smile that convinces me of absolutely nothing except that he’s not sure of himself.
“Cooper...” I don’t know what else to say. This is too much. He’s put me in a terrible position. He should’ve just gone and got help and risked the asshole vampire kidnapping me. I’m sure my guys would’ve gotten me back. No one wants me to die if I don’t have to because they can use me for my blood. I have faith in the Bella Crew.
“Please, forgive me. I hate that I agreed to anything, but I know we can get out of it. We could use this to our advantage. Mr. Falo said that he was working with Aris, which means Aris is going to try to betray the Bella Crew. Since we know that, we can outsmart him and strategize.”
I shake my head, my features scrunching. “But he said—”
Cooper risks me devouring him by closing the space and grabbing my hands, cupping them between his. “Hayley, I know I’m not some powerful vampire. I know I don’t have anything to offer you apart from knowledge and experience. But I made myself a promise long ago that I would fight for humanity. If I got the chance to get out of here, I would fucking rebel against my own kind. I would fight like the rebels the Bella Crew are. I would do it because of my sister and my grandmother. I would do it for any other dhampirs like you in the world. I don’t have anything to lose. All I see right now is a new life I can gain. I want it.”
I study his face, his green eyes flashing silver. He smolders me with his intensity, trying to get me to believe what he says. And it’s not that I don’t believe him, it’s just that...so much can happen. When I thought my life couldn’t get worse, it turned fucking awful. And I’m at the point where I know it could just be unbearable.
I’ve lost a lot of my faith in life. I’ve been born to serve vampires. I’ve been cursed as an eternal donor, and I sometimes wonder if this fight would even be worth it in the end if anything were to happen to the Bella Crew and what they want for the future of La Vega. This bullshit shouldn’t land on my shoulders like this.
“But I also don’t want it at your expense,” he adds when I’m not quick to respond.
“If it came down to it, would you do something at my expense? I wouldn’t blame you. I know what it’s like to be less than and treated as property and a performer.” I lick my lips with my words, the lingering taste of blood still tainting my lips.
“I wouldn’t. I swear. You have to trust me.” Cooper furrows his brows, keeping his gaze locked on mine. “Please.”
Can I trust him?
Should I?
“Why? Why should I? I already know that you only started this whole thing to get away from the herd.” I pull my hands away and cross my arms over my chest. “I need a good reason.”
He swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. He doesn’t rush to say anything. All he does is continue to stare at me as if he can read what I want him to say on my mind. But I don’t know what I expect. I lost the ability to create expectations as a way to protect myself.
He lifts and drops his shoulders. “I have given you my reasons, Hayley. I made a promise.”
“That’s not enough. I’ve had too many damn promises in my life. I don’t have a good reason to trust you, and you don’t have a good reason as to why. But I know you’re going to do whatever you’re going to do regardless. Just be upfront about it, okay? I don’t want to be let down.” I step back and turn away from him, my whole body aching in a way that I haven’t felt before.
“You’re right. I don’t have a good reason, and I don’t think I ever will. I also can’t promise that I won’t let you down. I’m not your hero...but I was hoping that maybe you could be mine.” He touches my shoulder, trying to get me to turn around, but I don’t.
I won’t.
“I can’t. I can’t even save myself.” Words have never felt truer.
I’m not a hero.
I’m a donor. And apparently, I’ll be one forever.
***
I stare at the ceiling, listening as the door creaks open. Cooper silently did the best he could to remove all the evidence of the fight between me and Killer. Cleaning up blood is kind of a thing for vampires, and he did a decent job, considering how much blood had spilled. I’m sure they have a billion different techniques, but it still doesn’t change the fact that it happened, and we’re hiding it. That Cooper asked Mr. Falo to get rid of the body.
“Little bird, you have something to tell me, don’t you?” Monroe closes the door behind him. He doesn’t come any closer and waits for me to turn around to look at him. “You do know that the trackers you wear give us both sound and visuals, right?”
I suck in a breath and sit up, jerking my attention to him. “You know?”
