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“I need you to lie back on the table and scoot your bottom to the edge.”
Panic rises in my chest as he slides the stirrups out from their little cubby inside the exam table.This is really happening.A man is going to look at my vagina. And not just any man, but thisvery attractive manis going to come face-to-face with the most intimate parts of my anatomy.
I’m not freaking out.You’re freaking out.
“Ms. Bellows—”
“Natasha’s fine,” I blurt. “Or Nat. It’s what my friends call me.”
My face feels like it’s literally on fire. Through the hubbub of my racing thoughts, I know this is so damn stupid. What the hell is wrong with me? This man is a doctor. There’s nothing sexual about the situation.
“Natasha…” He rolls his chair a little closer to me and hunches his shoulders. I suspect he’s trying to make himself appear smaller, less intimidating. It’s not working, but I appreciate the gesture.
“I know you weren’t expecting to see me today,” he says. “I understand how having a male doctor perform this procedure could be nerve-racking. If you’d like, we can stop, and you can wait for a female doctor to become available. Unfortunately, I can’t tell you when that will be. But I want you to feel comfortable.”
The sincerity in his voice calms me down just enough so that I can take a deep breath.
“Thank you,” I say. “I appreciate that, but I’m okay. I want you to check me out—itout. My IUD.”
Kill me.
His mouth curves into a smile, and good lord, the man has dimples for days. Wedging my heels into the stirrups, I scramble to get into position on the exam table so that I can hopefullyboltout of here as soon as humanly possible.
“Are your legs comfortable?” The doctor’s gloved hand touches my ankle, and by some dark anatomical magic, I feel the echo of his touch between my thighs. “I can adjust the stirrups if necessary.”
“They’re fine.”
The paper blanket crinkles as he raises it, exposing my lower body. His gloved hand touches my inner thigh.
“I’m going to insert the speculum now,” he says. “You’ll feel some pressure and possibly a little pinch as it opens.”
I bite my lip and order my lungs to keep breathing as he rubs clear lubricant onto the speculum.
“So, tell me about yourself, Natasha. Are you a student?”
“Yeah,” I say, grateful for the routine small talk. “I’m going to be a junior at UT, Knoxville this fall.”
“What are you studying?”
“Pre-Law.”
I gasp as cold metal warms against my skin.
“Deep breaths, Natasha,” he says. “I can feel how tense you are.”
“Right.” I wince. Can he feel how turned on I am?No, I can’t think about that.I will literally die of embarrassment.
“What are your plans for the summer?”
“Um, you know, just normal summer stuff. Swimming and kayaking… My best friend and I are hoping to stay at his family’s lake house, invite some friends. Throw some parties.”
“Sounds fun. Spread your legs a little wider for me, Natasha.” He lays a hand on my knee to help adjust my position. “Right there, that’s perfect. You’re doing great.”
“Thanks,” I say. Warmth blooms in my belly. I bite my lip as his approval washes over me, enjoying the deep, rumbling sound of his praise far more than I have any right to.
“What made you decide to get an IUD?” he asks after I’ve gone quiet.
I consider lying, but I have no reason to. He’s an OB/GYN. He knows why most women choose to get on birth control.
