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Carter wakes slowly, taking stock of every new thing he feels as he crawls back to awareness. A violent, burning sensation is licking across most of his skin. His hole is throbbing. His cock and balls feel raw and heavier than they should. His mouth tastes like copper and bile, the inside of it dry and tacky. His cheek aches.
The first emotion that returns to him is a deep, overwhelming sadness.
Terror isn’t far behind.
Then heremembers.
Casey. Seeing him. Holding him. Relief. Peace. Then being torn away, kicking and screaming.
Sir smashing Carter’s face against the table. Growling at him. Angry at him.
He remembers watching Casey’s master whipping him bloody. The men who used him after. The way his body had gone as slack and lifeless as a sex doll.
He remembers his own whipping. The toy shoved in his hole. The pain. The pain. So much fucking pain.
The laughter.
The cheering.
The dark.
The dark, again, again, again in the dark. Alone in the dark.
He pissed himself.
He sobbed.
He screamed.
Sir fucked him.
Sir… promised him things. So many things. They’re all a jumble in Carter’s mind.Something about forgiving him, maybe?Something about beinggood. But that can’t be right… because Carter wasn’t good at all. He was naughty. Disappointing. Carter ruined everything. Healwaysruins everything.
Was there an apology?
Did sir apologize?
No. Certainly not. Carter must have apologized to sir. That must be what he’s remembering.
There was something about love, too. A confession. A heated surge of emotions. That couldn’t have been sir. No way.
Which means…
Oh god, did Carter confess his love to sir?
No.
No, no, no.
He wouldn’t be that stupid. Hewouldn’t.
He doesn’t even love sir. Not at all. He hates him. Despises him. The man is a fuckingmonster.
Maybe it was all just some fucked up mind game that his traumatized brain decided to play with him. It wouldn’t be the first time Carter’s mind has done that to him. It’s never had a problem creating whispered apologies and gentle touches out of cruelty and pain. It’s practically a fucking expert at it by now.
Carter startles when the bedroom door opens. He jerks into a sitting position, an agonized sound ripping its way up his throat as he immediately falls back down. Every inch of his body burns and throbs. Tears fall down his face, stinging the small cut on his cheek from where he was slammed into the table earlier.
