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“Please don’t leave me,” the boy cries. His body is pressing in closer to Nathan. “Please don’t leave me.”
“No one is leaving you, sweetheart. I’m right here.”
“Please,” Carter sobs. His fingernails are digging into Nathan’s skin now. “I – I don’t wanna be alone. Not again. Not again.”
Nathan starts to sit up. The boy doesn’t allow it. He releases a frustrated sigh. “What is going on? Why are you afraid right now?”
“Please,” the boy begs. “Not again. Not again.”
“Not againwhat?”
“The dark!” he practically wails. “Not alone in the dark. Please!”
Nathan’s heart breaks. Not again. Not alone in the dark again.
When the fuck was this boy put in the dark all alone?Nathan doesn’t realize how angry he is until a growl slips past his lips. The boy immediately lets go and scrambles to the other side of the bed, sounding broken and terrified. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, sir. I’m sorry. I’ll be good. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m-”
The boy’s panicked apologies are cut off when Nathan reaches out for him again. He tenses, prepared for pain, Nathan’s sure, but he just pulls Carter in close and holds him to his chest. It takes a few seconds of Nathan rubbing his back and whispering that he’s not alone before the boy finally starts to calm. Nathan holds him for as long as it takes. Even when Carter is breathing normally again, no longer jerking or crying with panic, he continues holding him.
“You’re afraid of the dark,” Nathan says, not because it’s a question, but because it just needs to be confirmed.
“Y-yes, sir. I’m so sorry.”
Nathan has to bite his tongue to keep from telling the boy he doesn’t have to apologize. “Will you feel better if I turn the light by the door on low?”
The boy nods rapidly against his chest. “Yes. Yes, sir, please. Please do that, sir.”
“Okay. Go to your side of the bed, and you can hold my hand if you need to until the light is fixed, okay?”
The boy cries again, but this time it’s not sad or panicked. It’s relieved. He holds onto Nathan’s hand and slides back to his spot. Nathan reaches over and slides the fingers of his free hand across the panel again. Just the small blue light from it is enough to have Carter relaxing his hold on him. When Nathan turns the light by the door on to 1, Carter’s hand leaves. Nathan aches with the loss.
“Better?”
“Yes, sir. Th-thank you so much, sir.”
Nathan lays back on the bed, fighting the urge to hold the boy again. Carter doesn’t want to be touched. The only reason he did was because his fear of the dark outweighed his fear of Nathan. Nathan’s no idiot. Now that the dark has been conquered, Nathan is the reigning monster again.
It hurts in a way that Nathan refuses to think about.
