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This makes the low voice from before chuckle. “Damn right he is. That’s because he’s a good boy, aren’t you, sweetheart?”
Conflict and chaos roar inside Carter’s mind. He wants to be good for sir, but he doesn’t want to let the bad guys win. They promised Elliot that the bad guys won’t win. That was supposed to be true. They were supposed to hold onto that hope. To fucking cling to it. Until their moment.
Keep calm.
Breathe.
Pay attention.
Wait for your moment.
“I’m not helping the bad guys,” Carter whispers.
Casey laughs cruelly. “You’re not fighting either, are you, Carter?”
“I -” Carter has to stop, swallowing the words down as he realizes they’d be a lie. He’s not fighting. Of course he’s not. He’s being good.
“He’s nice if I’m good.” Carter turns, trying desperately to find Casey in the dark. He needs him to understand. Casey has to understand. “I can’t be bad, or he hurts me.”
“Sounds like a dog with a shock collar.” Casey scoffs. “He has fucking weapons in the bedroom. You were in a fucking McDonald’s parking lot and you didn’t even try to escape. You were just by a door and all you did was stare outside like a fucking idiot!”
“You’re the one who fucking told me to wait until the right moment!” Carter growls. “I’m just waiting!”
“No, Carter. You’re not just waiting. You’re enjoying. You’re forgetting. Do you even want to leave him? Do you want to be free?”
“Of course I do! I – I’m just trying to survive.”
“He was willing to give you the day alone, and you begged him to fucking stay with you instead. You rode him like a whore in his bed, and you got off on it. You moaned and came and loved every second of it when he fucked you over a desk. You feel comfortable and at peace when you have his cock in your mouth to warm. You begged him to use you even after he had beat you until you pissed yourself.”
Carter shakes his head furiously, eyes watering. “Stop it.”
“You love it when he holds you, don’t you? When he kisses you. When he calls you sweetheart.”
“Stop.”
“You like him, don’t you, Carter? You’re probably falling in love with the sick fuck.”
That’s not true.
It’s not.
But… isn’t it?
He was just willingly in bed with the man, cuddling him as they fell asleep after watching a movie together. He didn’t cry or try to fight sir any of the recent times sir tried to use him. He even got off on the things sir did to him, just like Casey said.
Carter squeezes his eyes shut, shaking his head. He pants under his breath, “No, no, no-”
“Admit it, Carter. Be a fucking man and admit it.”
“No!”
“Sweetheart?”
Carter sobs, trying so damn hard to ignore sir. To not go to him. He wants to prove Casey wrong. He wants to show him that he doesn’t want to be with sir. He’d rather stay here in the dark with Casey.
But that’s a lie. It’s such a goddamn lie. Things have been better since sir. Sir saved him, in a way.
“Saved you?!” Casey nearly screeches. “Better since him? Are you fucking kidding me? He raped you, Carter! More than once! He let that man piss in your mouth! He let him hurt you!”
